Next To You
by xhalleonlatsyrc
Summary: Lenalee is torn when Lavi has to fulfil his Bookman duties but he leaves taking her heart with him. 10 months later, Lenalee goes to find Lavi in China with Allen, only to find Lavi's completely changed. LavixlenaleexAllen. Chap3: Lavi soon to be married.
1. Chapter 1

* * *

Taking place after the events in Edo and the Ark, assuming everybody got back safely, the Millennium Earl's brooding over his loss & Lenalee and Lavi getting together after the Lulubell/Mimi incidents (from the anime). (Lavi/Lenalee/Allen)

* * *

"Lavi, we're leaving tomorrow." Bookman's voice echoed in Lavi's head and the red headed boy sits up instantly. "What are you ranting about, old panda? We just got back! How can we leave?"

"Obviously, we're done with our duties here. We're all safe, the generals are here, and our main aim; Allen Walker, has turned out to be the boy who changed the course of time. Before your innocence turns out to be able to evolve further, we must be moving." The redhead didn't even get a chance to speak before Bookman left the room, but not without saying, "And the train is for tomorrow morning. The farewell party's in an hour. Get cleaned."

Lavi slumped straight back. The truth dawned on him: They didn't need him or Bookman have Allen, and all the other exorcists and generals to take care of things. He? He wasn't good at anything he did. It was true that he should just pack his ass and get the hell out of everyone else's way.

Sighing, he closed his eyes and thought of Lenalee almost instantaneously. Her beautiful green hair, eyes always filled with love for the world, and even the way she talked and laughed. His hand reached over to the wallet lying on the bedside table and flipped it open. He reached for the photo tucked deep in, where not even the nosey Allen or his grandfather would think of looking at, and pulled out a picture of him and Lenalee together. Smiles were plastered on their faces, with hers as sweet as ever and his, a goofy grin. She was the most serious thing that had ever happened to him. There was just no way he could force her to be part of history, like everything else he had recorded.

* * *

The cafeteria never looked as chaotic or as crazy as tonight had been. Everyone was in a celebratory mood for the win after the Ark and Edo, and also for Lavi and Bookman before they were off to pursuit their future discoveries. _Yeah right_, thought Lavi. The slaps on his back and the clinking of glasses against his seemed unreal. The smiles he gave and the laughter he hears from him felt wrong.

Numbed, Lavi could no longer tell his real feelings apart from the ones he never felt. Allen Walker, his comrade, confidante and lunch buddy walks up to him, and gives his a light punch on the arm, "Leaving so soon, Lavi?"

"Hah, yeah. Nothing I can do since the old man's had his mind made up. But hey, I'm really gonna miss you guys."

Allen nods, "Yeah, but you can always visit right. It'd be boring without you. Kanda's no big help either."

Lavi laughs again, "Aye, Allen. What's the mail for, huh?" And he clinks his glass of wine against Allen's fruit punch, while wrapping his arm around the boy's neck in a makeshift attempt to choke him.

From the corner of his eye, he spots a familiar frame of a young girl. When he turns his head fully around to see better, he spots Lenalee, her eyes never leaving his even while receiving a glass of juice from a fellow finder. He watches as she rejects the drink almost as instantly as she received it, before bolting out of the cafeteria doors.

Lavi apologized to Allen, while pushing him his glass to the boy. "Problem's came up. Be back in a sec," he mumbles, and runs out after the tearing girl. He was pretty sure this would take more than just a second.

* * *

It was lucky he had pretty awesome eyesight. Almost immediately, he could spot Lenalee running quickly towards some stone benches in the courtyard, before collapsing on one, burying her face in her hands. Lavi slows his speed down when he got nearer to her, his heart breaking as he watches her tears stream down the side of her face.

He wished he could cry too, because he knew he was leaving her as well, but nothing seemed to be coming out from his eyes. Kneeling down next to the her, he laughs sadly, "Lenalee, you're missing the party. The chocolate cake waits for no one, silly."

Lenalee looks up at him, her eyes teary, "How could…how could you still think…of food now?"

Ah, but that was so like him. He wanted everyone to be happy around him, that he hated it so much when Lenalee cries. "I want to have one last piece of cake with you before I…" He could even feel himself tripping on his own words. After all, this would technically be the last meal he has with anyone here.

Then, he pulls her into a tight hug. Lenalee cries out even louder, as her arms reached around his back, her hands tugging at the fabric of his shirt. "Lavi…" she chokes.

"I'm sorry, Lenalee. I don't have a choice," he says sadly, as his fingers ran through her short cropped hair.

And after awhile, Lenalee's wails trailed into soft sobs, but her hold on him never loosened. "Lavi," she manages while pushing herself back. Lavi looks at her clearly; Her eyes were red and her cheeks wet, as she attempted to wipe her face clean with the back of her hand.

"Lavi, I don't want to see you go. You can't go." She tried to sound demanding, but looks like she was about to cry again. Lavi leans in to kiss a stray tear away from her face.

"I can't. I can't do that."

Lenalee's face falls once more, and then she asks, "Then, will you…will you forget me? I mean, when…when you leave."

He smiles, "Never in a hundred years, Lenalee. No other pretty girl from any other part of the world can compete with you."

"Yeah, right. You're just doing your sweet talking thing to me again, aren't you?" She says, looking up at him, a smile tugging at the end of her lips.

"Nope. I meant that." And then he lowers his mouth to hers, just to kiss her again, afraid it might be his last.

* * *

Lavi couldn't even be bothered with the party anymore. He didn't know how long it had already been over, only remembering so clearly about the talking, the kissing and the short silences he had with Lenalee. She'd been so afraid that he might go that she kept holding onto his arm or locking her fingers with his. Somehow or rather, the girl had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder.

Lavi carried her gently, but she had been fast out for some time now. _She's so light, way better than that old panda of a grandfather_, he thought, as he went right into her empty room and laid her on her bed. Covering her up in case she got cold, he kissed her on her temple and walked right out, his eyes lingering just a bit on her.

He was so tired, and his back, head but mostly his heart, kind of hurt too. Lavi dragged himself back to his room, resisting the urge to just pass out on the floors of the hallway, while his mind went over the details of Lenalee's face and features, along with thoughts of how he was going to pack up his room that looked more or less like a tornado just struck it.

"You're back early." Bookman sat still on the chair, as Lavi pushed the door to his room open_. Ah, sarcasm. It never gets old._

"What?" Lavi ignores him, despite Bookman's hard and angry eyes on him. He even had his arms crossed, which was another bad sign altogether.

Lavi never got close to even having his head on the pillow, when he felt Bookman wrinkly fingers on his collar, pulling him up. He spat, "You're the successor of Bookman, Lavi! Throw away your unimportant feelings, especially for Miss Lenalee!"

Lavi felt his face go red, but mostly from anger, "And how long must I keep doing this? I don't want to just live on without bringing any moments worth remembering with me!"

"Being an exorcist, searching for innocence and Miss Lenalee; they're all history! To be kept away and never looked at again unless you must! Those worth remembering should be of history, idiot! How old are you that I have to keep teaching you that?"

Bookman tossed him aside, his eyes still on Lavi with obvious disapproval, "You should never have come here in the first place. Being with Miss Lenalee and missing the party till one in the morning is hardly the focus you promised me you'd have, Lavi. I ignored those feelings in the beginning, but after last night, you should have nothing to do with her."

"I can't." Lavi said, his voice hardly audible.

"You can't what, you idiot?"

"I can't forget about her, Gramps."

"Then make it happen."

The elderly man stared at Lavi for awhile, before walking off swiftly, slamming the door in Lavi's face. Lavi sat there, still as a rock, but unable to comprehend the whole truth. Suddenly, the burden of being a Bookman and his want of being one seems to be a blur.

* * *

It was barely five in the morning. Taking a shower at such a bad timing almost froze Lavi right off earlier on, but now, he and Bookman were already all ready to board the train for Turkey. Who knows where they'll go after Turkey? It was going to be the same all over again, war after war. So much has been recorded but nobody seems to be learning anything from it anyway.

Lavi felt a wash of déjà vu over him. Would he feel disappointed at human's stupidity again? It was almost a surefire thing, because he knew he cared less now. Bookman poked at Lavi with his ticket, before nodding toward the steps leading up the train.

"Okay, alright already. I'm going." Lavi said, annoyed. Was this it? Was the 49th 'him' coming to an end?

It was kind of stupid, feeling attachment to anything, but he really missed being in the exorcist headquarters right now. He should be all curled up in his warm bed there, damn it, before waking up to the smell of Lenalee's freshly brewed coffee, bickering with Allen over who gets the last bagel before annoying Kanda to no end. He shouldn't even be here. At least, not without his friends, his comrades.

And then he saw her. Lenalee, standing right there in the flesh, the moment he lifted his head up to gaze out of the window of the carriage. She was all wrapped up in her exorcist coat, her eyes filled with sadness. It was almost like she was beckoning him to come see her for one last time.

He vaguely remembered Bookman thunderous shout, as he dashed out of the train altogether and into the cold morning air. He came to a halt, just a metre away from her.

Lenalee grinned, perhaps seeming a little too happy for him to believe, "Lavi. I…I came to see you off. Couldn't get Allen or my brother out of the bed though."

"Oh. But you really came," he could hardly bear to face her, "How'd you know?"

"You left a note at the call counter to wake you up at 4:30 in the AM. I just figured the train would be the one at 5 or so. I was right, aren't I?" Lenalee smiled.

The train blew a long, sharp whistle and more people started to say goodbye to whoever was seeing them off. Most of these people would probably see who was sending them off again. But he didn't know when he'd ever see Lenalee, Allen or his other friends again.

"Lavi, I brought you this," Lenalee took two steps closer to him, pushing his exorcist jacket into his arms. "I just thought that maybe you might want something to remember us by."

He slipped it right on, and it fit perfectly, much better than any of his other clothing. Lavi looked up at her and Lenalee was already wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Oh man, what am I doing?" Lenalee tried to muster another smile, "Here I am, crying when I should be just sending you off happily. I…I'm really happy, Lavi, for you. That…you get to…go after something you really like to be doing." She was sobbing already.

The horn went off again, in another longer whistle. The last call wouldn't wait for anyone, Lavi knew that.

"Go on, Lavi. Bookman's staring. You wouldn't want to miss this train." Lenalee begun to babble a bit, but Lavi ignored all that. He really wanted to hug her, kiss her, before he left.

Lenalee was quicker than he was. She pushed him toward and up the steps of the train. "Please have a safe trip, okay? And remember to sleep on time and eat well, Lavi. Don't make Bookman get all worried for you."

The door shut in Lavi's face automatically, as he stood silently on the last step. He could now only see Lenalee from a piece of transparent plastic. "I will, Lenalee! I…I'll come back,"He yelled, but she couldn't even hear him.

Lenalee read his lips though, and the final smile he sees seems genuinely contented and relieved. _Goodbye_, she mouths, as the train pulls away slowly and then picks up speed.

Lavi kept his eyes glued on her, as after a wave, Lenalee breaks down on the ground, her hands cupping her mouth as she cried the hardest she's ever did in her life. It was a typical reaction from her, for she cried if she feels hurt. Lavi's sight turns into a blurr, as the train goes even faster. He didn't get a chance to even feel her hand in his for one last time before he had to leave.

The 49th him had just came to an end too; "Lavi" had just turned into history.

* * *

_10 Months later…_

Lenalee sits in her room, letting the brush run through her hair. "It's already growing out so quickly, my dear," the head nurse says as she combs Lenalee's straight medium hairstyle, while the girl beams back into the mirror at her.

"I know. I really like it much better now," Lenalee says, running her fingers through her hair.

"I'm glad you do. You haven't been yourself for the many months back and many of us got so worried, especially Allen, you know." The head nurse laughed as she made her way out, just as Allen appeared at the door. "And speak of the devil…" she continues with a laugh.

Allen Walker. He was practically the whole reason Lenalee picked herself back up after Lavi had left her broken-hearted. He never stopped taking care of her, or lost his temper when he did. He was just so…so Allen.

"Allen! You're here!" Lenalee smiles, getting on her feet. Allen had changed so much over the months, but in a good way. He'd became stronger, trained harder, and proved to so many others he wasn't just your average seventeen year old kid.

"Hey Lenalee. Just dropped by to see how you were holding up." Allen smiles at her.

"I'm fine. I'm getting better every day, you know I am."

"Well, everyone's just being concerned for you. Especially me," Allen says, his eyes filled with concern.

Lenalee tried to shake off the tense atmosphere in the room. "Please, Allen, everything's just fine. Besides, it's been ten whole months since he's left. No phone calls, no letter, nothing. I've already given up, really."

She remembered how she'd stayed hidden away in her room when Lavi had first left. The boy had left her torn, while she didn't know what to do, or where to continue from. Most people around didn't know the full story, but Allen did, because she confided everything to him as he let her lean on his shoulder whenever she needed it. She'd tried in the first two months in vain to search for him but given up. There was no way to track him, when she didn't know where to begin.

Allen had been her pillar of support. And surprisingly, Komui even encouraged her to be with Allen, upon realizing Lenalee was no small kid. She had a life, and it didn't revolve around her brother. Komui never knew Lavi and Lenalee's relationship but she wasn't ready to speak of it either.

Allen furrowed his eyebrows, "Are you sure?" That question was asked _wayyy_ to many times.

"Thanks, Allen. But I'm fine, honest!" She ruffled his soft white hair, and pulled him out of the room behind her. "Come quick, I've got something to show you."

The entire headquarters was busy at work again, of course. Everyone was running up and down, minding their own business. Lenalee dragged Allen along down the halls, into the dome-like piano room. It was a quiet place, more like a rest area, which Lenalee found comfort in. Nobody really visited the place but hey, the exorcist headquarters wasn't a jail. Nice places like these still existed.

"The piano room? What am I here for?" Allen asked, cocking his head to one side.

"I wanted to show you something, Allen."

Lenalee let go of her hold on Allen and sat down swiftly on the piano stool. Her fingers rested upon the black and white keys, playing a sweet tune that surrounded them both. Allen raised an eyebrow when her finger left the final key, "But Lenalee, that's The Swan. How'd you learn that?"

Lenalee smiled gently, "I heard you listening to it several times when you did your reading. Figured I'd want to learn how to play the piano well so I could play this song for you. I wanted to thank you, all in honor of our friendship."

"You didn't have to, Lenalee. A piece of cake would've made me very happy." Allen smiled with gratitude.

"It wouldn't do! It took me two whole months to get everything right, but I had to thank you for being there for me all along. I wouldn't know what to do without you, Allen. This is just the least I could do, considering you can play the piano so much better than I can."

Allen Walker did the most out-of-character thing he'd ever done in his whole life. Taking two steps ahead, his arms wrapped around Lenalee fully, with a smile playing at the end of his lips.

"Thank you, Lenalee. I would never stop being there for you."

"I know." Lenalee nodded, as she hugged him back.

* * *

It's been 10 freaking months, since Lavi has left the order. Currently, it sucks like shit to be stuck in Ye Cheng, China, and with the old panda to make things livelier for everyone. It was another day again, perhaps Thursday or Friday, either one. Lavi covered his eyes, shielding it from the sun.

"Wake up, Win," Bookman said, as he boiled a familiar pot of Chinese tea.

They were supposed to head out to the border now, before the Chinese and Indian authorities are ready to negotiate any further plans on what to do with the Himalayas. Frankly speaking, Lavi didn't care, nor will he respond to the stinking name he'd been given.

"Win!" Bookman raised his voice.

"Aye, Panda gramps," Lavi yelled back, sitting up to pull his shirt over his head. "And I'm still Lavi okay. Not Ashry, Demitri or any Win."

Bookman sighed. "It's your 52nd Alias. And I'm only allowing the name 'Lavi' for the moment, seeing it was my fault in the beginning to even let you come along to join the exorcists' side in gaining more information. Cross the line and you're dead meat, Lavi."

Bookman strode silently out of the house, ready to board the military bus to the border. Lavi didn't get up to follow. He didn't want to go to the Himalayas or have a new name. He only became a Bookman to know things nobody else knew, see the world and understand different people, but all he seemed to be able to remember now was the 49th him.

The rest of his life pretty much seems like shit, that's that.

Snapping back to reality, Lavi glanced up at the dark exorcist jacket, hanging over the arm of a chair. And maybe, he realized, the excitement he craved for when being an exorcist, when he had comrades too, was really never going to happen again. He'd been hoping for too much.

Lavi hoisted him off the edge of the bed, and headed for the bustling central of Ye Cheng instead.

* * *

Lenalee sat on a couch next to Allen Walker, both laughing over a ridiculous TV show.

"Honestly, having 250 channels is a real perk for training so much in this stuffy tower," Allen said, as he searched for the remote hurriedly because the last show just came to an end.

"I know!" Lenalee laughed, as she reached over to grab a cookie off the coffee table. Lately, it'd been getting boring around. The Earl seems to be lying low and there were hardly any missions for her or Allen. The latest mission had been to send Kanda halfway across the globe to China, and it didn't involve her.

Arystar Krory strode in not long after, breaking her train of thoughts. "Urghhh," he groaned, plopping himself on the other side of Allen on the couch as well.

"What's wrong, Krory?" Allen asked, still switching about for the right channel to watch.

"Been training all day. And worse of all, I'm running out of good ol' Akuma blood. It frustrates me when I don't even get a mission like the lucky Kanda," He ranted.

"Lucky? He's taking longer than he should, that Kanda," Allen went, "One mission doesn't need him to be gone for two weeks. I bet he's getting old so his actions are slower."

"DAMN BEANSPROUT, SPEAKING ILL OF ME BEHIND MY BACK," a voice practically roaring stepped into the exorcists' lounge.

Allen jumped, his eyes meeting the frightful Kanda's for a moment, where they just continued shooting daggers at one another. Lenalee laughed, "Come on guys, chill! It's a good thing Kanda's back already isn't it?"

Kanda looked pissed, "Che! Not if it involves the seeing the frigging beansprout it's not."

"It's ALLEN, _YU_!" Allen stuck a tongue out. Kanda looked even more annoyed than before, with murder in his eyes.

Krory tried to lighten the mood too, "Kanda, how was China? Surely it must've been good to spill the blood of an Akuma, is it not?"

Kanda looked at him as if he were insane, "_NO_! I don't go there for the blood of an Akuma, for crying out loud. And anyway, I took longer than before because I have my reasons."

Allen asked, "Oh yeah? What reason, looking for cheaper hair straighteners in China?"

Kanda really wished he could strangle the annoying Allen right about now. "No, of course not! I bumped into the damn Usagi at Yecheng when I went there from KunMing. Asked around if it was really him, but I think he goes by another name or it's someone else then, because no one knows who 'Lavi' is."

Lenalee's eyes widened. Of course, Kanda didn't know a thing between her and Lavi. Allen grew quiet, not bothering to insult Kanda further, his eyes on Lenalee instead.

"Excuse me, I need the washroom," Lenalee stood up and walked right out, ignoring the stares from her comrades.

She cupped her hands over her mouth, unable to believe that Lavi's actually at China. She was happy not knowing where he went, but what were the odds of an exorcist from the order actually bumping into him on the other side of the globe? She just couldn't ignore the fact that she knew where Lavi was now.

Lenalee burst into an all-too-familiar room, her head spinning. It was Lavi's old room. Unknown to everyone, she came here every once in two weeks or so, to just clean up. All along, she told herself she was only doing it because she didn't like rooms to be messy, particularly one of an ex-comrade's. Now, it looks like she had been doing it for a reason.

Lenalee bent down, just to cry her eyes out. Why couldn't Kanda save her from misery and kept his mouth shut? It hurts too much to even think about Lavi right now, when she thought she'd been contented with the people she had now.

A pair of warm arms folded around her, as she sobbed. Lenalee looked up to see Allen's handsome, concerned face but she couldn't resist crying out even harder.

Allen smiled, "It's okay to cry, Lenalee."

"No, it's no okay!" She yelled back. "I shouldn't even want to cry about someone like him."

Allen patted her gently, letting her continue. After quite a long time, where she sat on the ground with Allen, his arms still protectively around her, she stopped crying.

Lenalee sniffed, "Allen, I want to go to China. I want to find him."

Allen looked down at her, puzzled, "Why?"

"I don't know. I just want to see him really badly. I want to know how he has been and what's he been doing and…and everything else."

Allen sighed. "I won't stop you then, Lenalee. You do what you feel you have to." After all, he couldn't change Lenalee's mind because she was stubborn in her own way.

"Oh, Allen," Lenalee, being her usual emotional self, hugged Allen so tightly it caught the poor boy by surprise. He smiled, "But if you want to go, you must let me come with you."

Lenalee nodded, "I know you want to see Lavi too, Allen."

Allen gave her a look, "Not entirely. I need to go to make sure you're safe…"

Lenalee smiled as she rested her hand above Allen's. "Ok, Allen. I feel nervous just thinking about seeing Lavi in such a long time already." She didn't know why Allen looked a tiny bit disappointed to her but she continued, "I'm really going to find Lavi, Allen. I must."

_-To be continued-_

* * *

Hah, there's the first chapter. I'm still pondering if I should really make it a LavixLenalee story or an AllenxLenalee story. I mean, both couples are so cute and Allen in this story makes me pity him so much. It's so obvious he's got a thing for Lenalee, so I was thinking he deserves some love! HAHA! Kk, will just see how things go. ANW, read and review thanks so much! I know I can be sappy, long-winded and dramatic but that's me. :P


	2. Chapter 2

Seizing the opportunity that Komui has left to visit the exorcist branch at America, and that no one would be around to question where she was going, Lenalee was more than thrilled to be left to her own devices. It was like the perfect chance had just fallen from the sky, right into her face, along with the perfect person she'd wanted to accompany her with.

"You sure about this, Lenalee?" Allen asked skeptically. It was probably too late a question anyway, seeing that they were both already on the platform, ready to board the train, but he couldn't catch the question back in time.

Lenalee flashed a wide smile at Allen, the excitement on her face evident, "It's my gut feeling, Allen. I have to go. I have to find him." Allen watched as the small sized girl got on the train, off to find a seat. For a moment there, Allen wondered what on Earth was he doing actually, accompanying Lenalee to find her boyfriend who might not even be there, till he remembered Lavi was one of his best friends too.

Allen did feel bad. How could he have such horrible thoughts? But then again, what would happen when Lenalee really found Lavi? Kanda was hardly ever wrong (sadly). Was he to stand at a side and watch as Lavi and Lenalee embrace each other's company and promise never to leave each other again? He didn't know why, but he was sure he'd feel horrible inside.

Sighing, Allen piled on the train, taking the seat next to the anxious girl acting like a six-year-old on her first trip to a faraway place.

It didn't take them very long to arrive actually, because time seemed to pass quickly when they had each other for company. Allen's eyes would sparkle when he found that Lenalee had baked and brought along butter cookies and Lenalee would laugh along to Allen's stories of his run-ins with Kanda. Allen even tried to teach Lenalee poker skills, but sadly, she wasn't very good at picking it up.

Before they knew it, they were looking out at Ye Cheng, one of the many provinces in China.

Allen suggested that they check into a motel first, before attempting to find anyone anywhere. They were both exhausted, after all.

Lenalee dropped on the bed, feeling the hard mattress beneath her body. Still, she'd take that over any train seat any day. Allen lowered the bags they had on the ground, looking about, "So, how about some food first?" He couldn't wait for something to fill his stomach, as usual.

Lenalee upright instantly, hardly able to wait, "Allen, stop thinking about eating for a minute! We have to go find Lavi! And when I do, I've got so much to tell him!" Allen watched on as Lenalee fumbled about to get her hair tied, before thinking about the pained feeling that had been there in his chest.

Not like it was the first time anyway. He felt terrible and to add on he didn't know what it was.

It had begun since the very first time Lenalee cried on his shoulder over Lavi.

* * *

The sun was beginning to sink back behind the mountains and darkness was taking over. Lavi felt his body ache from tip to toe. It'd been a hell of a day, watching the soldiers' work, the usual exchange of harsh words between the Indians and the Chinese, and the fact that the sun had no mercy on them in the earlier part of the day.

Damn panda, going missing on him again. It's been happening of late, where he'd just disappear mid-way, claiming to be making important phone calls from the army barracks. Yeah right. Still, what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him but surely he should be home by now, considering the fact that he left almost a full hour earlier from the camp site than Lavi did.

Just when he was actually taking a minute to think of the old fellow, Bookman walked right into the house, his face its usual form of calm (or Lavi would prefer ugly), as he dropped some regular food items onto the dining table. That usually meant Lavi had to be the one to cook again.

Lavi dragged himself across the cemented ground to fish out the ingredients from the paper bags. Pretty much the usual that Bookman always buys: Eggs, Vegetables (Cauliflowers, yuck), Eggplants, Potatoes and some rice. _Wow, just what I wanted_, Lavi thought to himself sarcastically, but got along to getting the cooking done anyway. He begun trying to get the fire started.

Bookman simply stayed like a block of wood at the edge of his bed, reading some book while on the other hand, sipping Chinese Oo Long tea.

"So," Lavi asked, the question popping into his head suddenly, "What's with the phone calls of late, Panda? You've abandoned me three times straight since yesterday."

Silence. The only sound Bookman made was from turning the pages of his book.

Lavi went on, not caring to stop or turn around to look, "Surely you're not dating right? A man of your age should really just forget about any prospects of a partner, although if she's pretty and cooks well, she could- "

"Shut up, idiot! Watch the eggs!" Bookman yelled.

Lavi stared back at the eggs he'd been making. The sides of the fried eggs had all gone black, but the middle still look fit for a meal though. _Opps, oh well_, Lavi thought, as he scooped the eggs onto a plate swiftly. "We're having our dinner well done tonight, gramps!" Lavi said.

Bookman glared at Lavi, sending a chill up his spine. "In a good mood today, Lavi? Your nonsense is worse than usual."

Lavi couldn't explain it either, as he set the eggs and potatoes on the table. He just had an odd feeling in him that something was coming his way. It wasn't a bad feeling, so that means something good must be happening. Right?

* * *

It's been the third day. Every day passed so quickly, without any luck of finding Lavi at all. Lenalee clutched the picture of a wrinkled and slightly torn photo of Lavi in her hand, where he stood smiling up at her in black and white. Damn, is it _that_ hard to find just one person?

"Lenalee, have a drink. We've been looking for the whole morning already and you haven't had anything." Allen passed her his bottle of water after he took a quick gulp.

Lenalee took it, giving him a sad smile. "Correction; it's been three mornings already. I mean, we've been going to the same places day in and day out, but I don't know why we still can't locate him."

"Maybe it's a Bookman fasting month thing. He's just not up for a meal."

"I'd bet," Lenalee laughed, "Lavi isn't like that. He may not sleep regularly, but at least he eats alright." She thought about the times where Lavi would rush for the last bagel with Allen, either just to annoy him or because he did like her bagel making skills.

Allen looked over at Lenalee. She looked so sad, trying to keep herself together at the same time. He wished he could help, but usually, the Chinese locals gave him weird looks and to add on, he couldn't speak Chinese.

"You must be hungry, Allen," Lenalee said, standing up and returning him his bottle, "Let me go get you some lotus paste buns. They're awesome."

Allen nodded, "Buy more back! And get some for yourself too. You need the energy."

Lenalee smiled, running off quickly towards the town central, leaving Allen alone at the stone bridge.

_She is getting thinner isn't she? And anyway, what the heck are lotus paste buns? _Allen didn't know you could make any sort of food out of a lotus, but if Lenalee's getting them, it's probably okay.

As he swerved his head, hand clutching on the nearly-empty bottle, something caught the end of Allen's eye. Someone, with a head full of fire-red hair, standing barely two meters away from him. Allen turned around fully in shock. Only one word escaped from his lips.

"Lavi!"

* * *

The line seemed to drag on forever. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that the place is overcrowded and there's at least ten more people waiting in line in front of her. Lenalee sighed, her mind drifting away. If only she could find Lavi sooner, because she don't have a lot of time before she has to head back. Komui would rant and rave if he even knew, before swiping out plenty of machinery to try and cream Allen, and she didn't want to get Allen in any sort of trouble.

Time passed quickly. Lenalee ordered, paid and was ready to walk off to find Allen when someone stopped her in her tracks. "Hey you, wait a sec."

Lenalee looked around, finding herself staring at a slender, but impossibly good looking girl that seemed like the same age as she was. _But wait, wasn't she behind me?_ Lenalee wondered.

The girl's attention changed and focused on the plump lady at the stall. "Give her back her change, you."

Lenalee continued looking at the scene unfold in front of her, where the stall lady spat right back, "There is no change to give. Now, go away before I take my broom to chase you off, young punk."

"You must be joking. She gave you a fifty! Come on, half a dozen buns don't cost that much," the girl yelled back.

The stall lady glared at her and then at Lenalee for a second, before grabbing a nearby broomstick and raising it over the girl's head, probably intending to scare her away for messing around with her. The girl gave a smirk, grabbed the handle of the broom swiftly with both arms before it could hit her and broke it into half as if it were a stick. Just like that.

The plump woman stared at the girl in disbelief, her eyes as huge as saucers. Obviously, someone didn't care how she looked in the public eye.

Reaching her hand toward the lady, palm up, the girl asked, "She's supposed to get forty-two Ren Min Bi _(Chinese currency)_ back."

The lady nodded, fishing change out from inside a bucket and passed it to the girl. "Here," the girl said, laying an extra ten on the counter, "That's for the broom. But it wouldn't have been broken if you'd just hand over the change."

The girl walked off, her golden hair bouncing off her shoulders, toward Lenalee, who stood there dumbfounded. "Here you go." The girl pushed the change back into Lenalee hand. "Sorry I took awhile."

Lenalee's eyebrows furrowed. She had never seen someone of such quick strength, unless it were a Akuma _(Yeah, for sure) _or perhaps an exorcist. But here? So coincidentally? She doubted it. She was probably a national gymnast or something.

"No…no problem," Lenalee said, "Thanks a lot."

The girl smiled, "You should be less spacey. You've been off building sandcastles in the air ever since I saw you queuing up in front of me."

"I…I was? Sorry, I never noticed."

"Of course you didn't! You didn't even know the huge amount that lady was cheating you of. Honestly, I thought you'd at least have asked, but you just walked right off."

Lenalee laughed sheepishly, "Yeah, I've been having a lot on my mind, you see. And, I'm really, really sorry. You never got your buns because of me."

"Hah, it wasn't a big deal. They were for my dad, but who cares. He needs to slim down a little anyway." The girl continued to ask, "Anyway, what's your name?"

"Oh? Uh, I'm Lenalee." Lenalee replied gladly.

"Nice name. You a local Chinese? No offence, you actually have a little bit of an accent."

Lenalee shook her head, "No, I am a hundred percent Chinese, but I'm not local. As in, I don't live here."

"Ooohhhh. Here to find someone or visit a relative then?"

"Erm, yeah, kind of…" Lenalee said, not exactly ready to share with a complete stranger her mission to find her boyfriend, whose been missing for 10 months. Just then, Lenalee sees Allen jogging up the stone path. He sees her, and begins to wave, where she waved back.

The girl laughed, "Oh, sorry. I had no idea you were here with your boyfriend."

"Oh, Allen isn't my boy…" But the girl cut Lenalee right off. "I've got to get going, and I'm headed this way. Dad's gonna start yelling anytime soon." The girl pointed to her left, as they'd reached a crossroad.

She was about to dash off, before Lenalee called out, "Wait! What's your name?"

The girl looked around, running backwards for awhile. She looked like she was pondering whether or not to answer Lenalee's question, before yelling back, "Maya!"

And then, she took off, turning at another corner, and Lenalee's sight of her ended. Allen came to join Lenalee, a little breathless, "Lenalee! What took you so long? I was worried!"

"I'm sorry, Allen! I took quite some time queuing up these," Lenalee said as she waved the bag in Allen's face.

Allen's face brightened up at the smell, "Mmm…smells really good! Anyway, who was that girl?" He couldn't resist taking the bag off Lenalee's hands to begin digging in at one of the buns.

"Oh, that girl. Just someone I met along the line."

* * *

The afternoon flew by just as quickly. Oddly, Allen suggested to Lenalee that they should take half a day off to rest, instead of just trying to find Lavi without any clues. Even though Lenalee was afraid she'd miss Lavi if she did, inside, she knew her body needed the sleep even if she didn't want it.

The last thing she remembered was seeing Allen exit from their room door, promising to be back quickly, before she sunk into a deep sleep.

When Lenalee awoke, it was to the strong smell of hot coffee and congee. "Here," Allen said, as he handed her the hot drink, "Drink up before you start on the porridge. I just bought it, so it's hot and good."

The afternoon nap seemed to do wonders. Lenalee felt better and more energetic already, despite it already being 5 in the noon. She drank up every last drop of the coffee and allowed Allen to feed her a few mouthfuls of porridge before she took over herself. It tasted heavenly.

"Lenalee," said Allen, his tone serious. Lenalee watched as he threw everything in the nearby bin, "I want to bring you somewhere."

Lenalee cocked her head to one side. "Where to, Allen?"

"You'll know when we get there."

It was unlike Allen to be so secretive and all, but Lenalee decided to let it go. She'd never questioned Allen's motives much, and she wasn't about to start now. Allen had a good head on his shoulders, she understood that.

Silently, Lenalee allowed Allen to lead her about the town. After all, they'd been in the same place for days already, so direction wasn't something either person lacked_. I wonder where he wants to take me… _Lenalee just didn't have a clue. The sun was already disappearing and night was soon to take over.

Allen stopped at the end of the bridge, seemingly hesitant when he looked over at Lenalee. "You have to continue on your own from here," he said, his eyes darting to the bridge like a signal for her, "I'd be back in the motel. If you're not back in an hour and a half, I'm coming to look for you okay."

Allen let go of Lenalee's hand, without as much as a smile, before turning to walk off. Lenalee furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Allen, what is this all about?" She called out. Was this some kind of joke? No, it couldn't be. Allen wouldn't act all funny for no good reason.

Allen looked back, his lips pressed together in a thin line. "It should be there, I think. The reason why you came here."

Lenalee's attention wandered off from Allen to the bridge instead, and she climbed the dirt-filled steps up, one by one. What she saw took her breath away.

Lavi stood tall, simply a few metres away, with his back facing towards her. Every little bit about him, that she'd been thinking about for months and months, and now Lavi, _her_ Lavi, was standing right there. The fire-red hair, the same headband, his built- everything familiar to her, was now in front of her eyes. She could hardly believe it.

She approached closer towards him, her throat heavy. However suddenly, an ill feeling got stuck in her chest. She didn't know where to begin, what to say. She knew she had been planning on what to ask him for months to come now, and thinking of his and her reaction. Suddenly, the thoughts got locked behind her head and seemed trivial.

_Surely he must know I'm standing behind him now_, Lenalee thought. Her voice escaped, much to her own surprise, and came out almost like a squeak, "Uh, hey Lavi. I…I came."

Lavi turned around, and the face that Lenalee never stopped thinking about everyday came to view. He was still as handsome as she'd remembered. She wanted to smile, to cry tears of joy, but Lavi's still and stoned expression left her speechless. "Yeah. You did. What brought you all the way here?"

_What the…?_ Lenalee swallowed. This wasn't how she pictured their long awaited meeting as. "I was wondering how you and Bookman were doing. I wanted to know if…if you were still doing fine."

"Thanks. So you've seen me. Don't tell me you came all this way just to tell me that? I guess you should be doing fine yourself too."

Lenalee was shocked. More than shocked- she was dumbfounded. Did he even know what he was saying? "Wha…what?"

"I guess you probably should know that I'm an extremely busy person. I've got information to document, history to read up on. And if you're concerned for Bookman, he's doing great too, no difference for me." Lavi didn't even look at her, instead choosing to stare at the water over the bridge. "So you see, there's no need for you to worry about us. And now that you know, you can just go."

Lenalee kept silent. She didn't want to believe all the nonsense she'd just heard, but Lavi's unchanged expressions told her it was the truth.

Lavi glanced at her, "What? Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

Gripping hard at the material of her dress, Lenalee tried to hold the tears back, "This…this is how you really feel?"

"What were you expecting? Surely not the words: _I'm sorry, please forgive me, I'll be back so just wait for me_. You weren't expecting me to say that were you?"

"Why, Lavi? Why are you being like this?"

"One day I just woke up and I came to terms with reality; and this is the reality, Lenalee."

Lenalee nodded slowly, looking straight into the cold eyes that were of Lavi's. "I get it. Of course, I finally got it. You acting like this, not wanting to see me…it were all real isn't it? So to you, I'm just- ,"

"A stain I want to get rid of."

The last words from Lavi pierced into her heart. The last words she expected to even come from him and he finally, actually said them. Lenalee felt her feet go numb, her head hurting and the tears streaming down uncontrollably but she forced herself to look at him. "That…that was just cruel, Lavi."

Lavi didn't even waver, "No. I was always like this. I was just pretending to be someone I'm not."

Lenalee turned away from him. She didn't want him to see her cry like this, over him, like some lovesick idiot who fell for the wrong guy. "I…I'm going. You take care, Lavi"

"Just worry about yourself."

Lenalee's eyes widened as she looked over her shoulder. Lavi sent her packing with another cold look, before he turned around and walked right off, without a single word of sorry. The guy she loved for so long, pined for for months and looked for in anticipation and excitement and in a matter of minutes, everything she knew had collapsed.

Lenalee's sight turned into a complete blur as she struggled down the steps. So this really was the end? Was she thinking too much on her part? Wiping her face, she sat down on the last step of the bridge, her body slumping against the cold stone. Well, she wanted an explanation didn't she? She got one, just like she wanted. The Lavi who loved her, whom made her so happy before, was gone. He died, along with all their past memories and good times.

The street remained quiet, except for a few passers-by who ignored her existence completely. She didn't care. She felt numb but she guessed she deserved it. Lavi never told her to wait for him. He never said he'd be back. She just thought too much on her part.

"Lenalee. Lenalee!" Allen came running over, anxious. Had he been waiting nearby all along, in case something like this happened?

Lenalee got up, trying to balance herself, but her head hurt too much. Allen caught her just in time before she fell.

Grabbing onto the back of Allen's shirt, Lenalee sobbed on Allen's shoulder quietly. She knew she was dirtying his shirt but she'll buy a new one for him, she swore. Allen sighed, wrapping his arms around her fully, patting her gently on her back.

Not too far away, Lavi watched on over at Allen and Lenalee, his heart breaking into a million pieces, just like Lenalee's.

* * *

Lavi didn't know how long it'd been since he begun roaming around the street aimlessly. Besides for a few night stalls selling food, nobody was around. Quiet and empty it was, giving Lavi the space he needed to be alone.

He felt like the biggest bastard to have ever set foot on this planet. How could he? How could he even say any one of those hurtful words to Lenalee? Furious with himself, Lavi cursed aloud and kicked the side of a random wall, before slumping down against it.

Any guy would die for a girl like Lenalee. And to think she came all this way just to find him, but all he did was to hurl all these horrible words at her like she was trash. Lenalee shouldn't even shed a tear for an ass like him. He would feel better if she yelled at him, slapped him, _anything_ at all. But that just wasn't her.

Lavi got up, pulling the headband off his head, allowing his red hair to fall down. He thought back to earlier that day, when he received a shock from seeing Allen face-to-face at the bridge. At first he was overjoyed, but he caught himself just in time. There was no way Allen would be there for no good reason.

When Allen told him how Lenalee was holding up for the past 10 months, he didn't know what to feel. Lenalee had been thinking about him, just like he had thought about her all this time. Sure, he was happy, but because of him, Lenalee had suffered in silence for so long. It soon dawned on him that it needed to come to an end, as much as he hated it.

Yeah. And when he said all those mean things, he felt like someone was taking a knife and stabbing him in the heart over and over and over again.

Lavi continued loitering about. He was tired, and absolutely drained from all that's happened in the one day. If he had to take anything else in, he would most probably pass out.

How fate seemed to have a knack for throwing all the worse things at you when it looks like you've got enough on your plate.

Lavi pushed the door of his and Bookman's house open. What a day. He couldn't wait to throw himself on the bed, ignore Bookman's scolding and simply disappear in the bed itself. He just didn't expect to see Bookman and two unfamiliar faces looking at him when he did.

Frowning out of exhaustion and frustration, he asked, "Gramps, who are they?"

One of them was a tall, very well-muscled guy that looked like he could pound any guy straight in the face anytime and he worn a slightly stern glare. Probably in his mid-40s or so. Lavi almost immediately regretted the tone of voice he used earlier on. The other girl sitting next to him, however, was major eye candy.

She was skinny, but not the kind that looked like she starved herself for two meals a day to achieve that. Her eyes were a deep, aqua blue color, her cheeks naturally slightly pinkish and her face shape a well oval. Her hair laid nicely on her shoulders, long and a healthy golden color. She looked about his age, maybe younger.

Still, as much as Lavi thought she was pretty, it didn't captivate him as much as he thought it would. The main question was: _Who the heck are they and what are they doing here?_

Bookman barked, "Quiet, Lavi! Our guests have waited for a full hour for you to get back! Now," Bookman went over, smacked Lavi till he jerked and stood in front of the two, "meet Brock and his daughter, Maya. They're from the line of Bookmen, like you and I. And they were also previously exorcists, except they were at the French department."

Lavi must admit; that certainly caught his attention. After all, it's not every day that you get to meet someone of the Bookmen line and in truth, he never had before.

_So that's where all those calls went. To them, most probably_, Lavi guessed, as he took the out stretched hand of Brock's. He still looked like a tough guy to mess around with, no matter what angle Lavi tried to see him from.

Lavi lifted his gaze from Brock to Maya. She smiled at him too, pulling her hand out too in greeting. _This girl looks nothing like her dad_, Lavi thought as he shook her hand. "Uh, Lavi," Lavi said, introducing himself.

"You probably know my name. To be honest with you, you're the first Bookman I've seen that's actually around my age," Maya said cheerily. Lavi nodded, "Yeah, me too." He wanted to be friendlier, but he was too tired to say as much as he usually would.

"Well, that's okay," Maya grinned at him, all smiles, "Because after all, you'll be seeing a lot more of me. I'm going to be your fiancée."

Lavi's eyes widened in shock. What the damn hell was the girl spouting about? He never agreed or even heard of anything like this! Lavi swerved around to look at Bookman, who was a state of calm and composure.

"Lavi, you're already nineteen. In the Bookmen lineage, when the female Bookmen reach a full age of eighteen, they're supposed to be wed, and of course, preferably with males of our own clan."

Okay, this was beginning to sound odd and actually, stupid. He never even knew he was in a _clan_, or the fact that he was supposed to get married anytime to some random girl he just met who happened to have just hit eighteen. Seriously, _what the hell_?

"Is this a joke, Gramps? How come I never heard of anything like this? You never said a word to me and I'm supposed to get _married_?"

"Lavi, calm down. How do you think we continue the lineage if nobody gets married? Yes, it's an arranged marriage but I don't see why it won't work. After all, Maya and Brock has agreed to it and Maya's a nice girl. She'll be good for you."

_No, she'll never be as good for me like Lenalee was_, Lavi thought. He wanted to dig a hole, and if possible, bury himself inside it and never come out. He just ended a relationship with the most perfect girl he'd ever known, and now he's supposed to jump the ship and throw himself headlong into another one?

Lavi wanted so badly to protest, to yell and say no, but his throat remained dry. He had never seriously objected to anything Bookman told him; he just took it in, complained once in a while but never really objected to a large extent. Yes, it kinda all made sense now doesn't it? Arranged marriages sounded so…so _Bookmen-ish_. It wasn't that much of a surprise when you thought about it.

"And guess what, Lavi," Maya said, as she took his arm excitedly, her face filled with anticipation, "We're going to the exorcist headquarters for our wedding. Now, isn't that nice? After all, I heard you and Bookman were attached there three years back. You'll get to see all your acquaintances again."

Now, how much more fun could one guy ask for?

_Still, to be continued…_

* * *

Finally, the second chapter! Honestly, it's been quite a while, but I rushed to finish this even though my major, life-determining exams are just a mere 4 days away! _*Gasps* _ANW, I hope this had been a good read. Currently, I guess the story is moving a bit slow (?), but please bear with me! As usual, I'm being sappy about everything but I felt the need to focus a lil' more on Lavi and Lenalee's feelings.

And ah, there's an addition of a LavixOC relationship here, but "Maya's" just someone I added into the story to place Lavi and Lenalee into more I-love-you-but-I-can't-be-with-you agony. (Lol, sorry for being morbid here.)

&in case it hasn't already hit you, I'm making this a lavixlenalee. :)

P.S: _Will be missing in action till 11__th__ Nov. Resuming from then onwards so please wait patiently thanks!_


	3. Chapter 3

Home. It had been a long and exhausting trip but finally, Lenalee was back. Despite it only being the evening and the fact that she had slept most of her way back on the train, she still felt tired.

"It's okay, Lenalee, I've got the luggage," Allen Walker says.

Lenalee could only afford to give him a small smile and tell him that she's forgoing dinner for the day before turning heel to return to her room. Yes, she'll take a hot, long bath, change into fresh clothes and tumble into bed like a pig. After all, she's way too tired to think about Lavi anymore, she swore.

However, Lenalee walked right past her own room and lays her fingers on the knob of a door. When she opened it, deep evening sun flooded the room and made her feel sleepier than she already is.

Lenalee almost feels lighter. Her feet took her across the room and on to the bed, where she laid. She could still feel him, as if he just slept in the same bed yesterday.

And then Lenalee pulls the blanket closer to her, wrapping it tightly around her, before letting a single tear escape from the corner of her eyes.

Then Lenalee feels someone patting her gently.

"Wake up, Lenalee."

Lenalee peels her eyes open. It was already into the night.

"Allen," Lenalee recognizes, "What are you doing?"

Allen shakes his head, "You mean what are _you_ doing? You're in Lavi's old room."

Lenalee pulls the rubber band that held her hair up out. They were starting to give her a headache.

"I…I don't know. I just…I wonder what I'm doing."

She felt so lonely inside. She wanted to forget him, and she knew walking right into his room isn't going to help but she just did it without thought. Looking up at Allen's troubled face, she wish she could do something to stop torturing him as well, but she didn't know what.

"Silly." Allen's arms went around her, pulling her into a hug.

_Don't, Allen. If you do that, I might begin to cry again._

"Lenalee, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be of any help. I want to, but I don't know how." It was slightly surprising to see Allen, someone as strong as him, could actually be this gentle and thoughtful. But this was Allen.

Lenalee pulls out of his grasp, taking his face in her hands. "You've done so much for me, Allen. I could have been going through this alone, but you were here for me, whenever I needed someone. And you know what? I'm going to try my best for once. I'm going to try to forget Lavi and move on."

"Lenalee." Allen takes one of Lenalee's hands gently and holds it against his cheek.

"Thank you, Allen. For always being there for me and never leaving my side. It's hard, but I will give my best, I promise."

Allen stays quiet, simply looking at Lenalee, before letting out a chuckle. "You've got me by your side anytime. I'll be there whenever you need me."

Lenalee beams and then hugs Allen again.

"Thank you so much. From now on, this moment onwards, Lavi's going to be just a memory."

* * *

A sense of dread.

That's the feeling Lavi carried with him all the way since Maya said, "_We're going to the exorcist headquarters for our wedding. Now, isn't that nice?_" Yeah, wow, let's all jump for joy shall we? After all, he was pretty sure that even if everyone back at HQ welcomed him back with open arms, there were going to be two people that won't be on the list.

Namely Lenalee and Allen.

Sure, Maya was hot and all, but none of her good looks and outgoing personality interested him in any way. When he looked at her, it wasn't anything special, and definitely not the way he feels when he looks at Lenalee.

All the way to the headquarters, Lavi carried a sense of apprehension in him. Still, he had to politely nod at everything Brock said, entertain Maya and try to act like he wasn't fighting all the feelings that he was.

"You okay, Lavi? You look awfully pale," Maya said.

"Really? It's all the traveling I guess." Which was pretty much all nonsense, since he never had motion sickness or any of that sort of thing.

"Oh, you poor thing," Maya said, her eyebrows furrowing with concern. "But no worries, when you get to the headquarters, I'm sure you'll feel much better after getting some proper rest and warm food."

Lavi nodded but when his eyes met those of Bookman's, he instantly wanted to look away. Of course, how could Bookman not tell when he's busy lying his ass off. Bookman knew everything about anything, including his personal affairs (sad to say), and that made Lavi slightly guilty.

Upon arrival, Lavi had to adjust his eyes to the mist that always seem to surround the headquarters. It was night time, or more like the morning, since it was near 4 in the AM, and most would be asleep he'd bet.

Maya took Lavi's hand, pulling him in after Bookman and Brock, into the warm, familiar place. Or Lavi would prefer to call _home_.

* * *

Time really does fly. It was already morning, and poor Lenalee didn't have a clue. Luckily, Komui wasn't around, so that meant she didn't have to hurry herself to prepare coffee for her brother.

Lenalee sat upright, running her fingers through her hair quickly, pulling through all the tangles. Glancing to the spot next to her, she realized Allen lay asleep, breathing in and out silently. She had no idea Allen stayed after escorting her back to her room, and actually ended up sleeping next to her.

He looked so different than when he had just entered, then inexperienced and younger. Now, he was so bright, so strong-willed that whenever he's around, she feels safe and protected. She tugs lightly at some of his hair, smiling, before crawling out of bed to get a shower.

Feeling refreshed the moment she was out of the bathroom, Lenalee begins to feel hungry. It's definitely a good start to _operation forget-Lavi_. Some tea and fresh muffins will mark the beginning of starting anew.

Closing in towards the cafeteria, she could already get a whiff of the good stuff. _Jerry's done it again_, Lenalee thought to herself, eager for a bite. However, it seems the cafeteria was extra noisy today. More buzzing could be heard, and Lenalee wondered what the fuss was about.

"Morning, Johnny," she greets the scientist on his way out.

"Oh, morning, Lenalee! You won't believe this, but guess who's back?" he says, eyes sparkling.

Lenalee giggles, and turns to check the scene out.

But instantly, she was horrified. An unfamiliar guy sat in one of the tables, biting into an oversized sandwich, with three other very familiar faces each enjoying their own portions of breakfast. Finders, exorcists and other staff working in the Order surrounded them, obviously excited at their return.

And there Lavi sat, happily chatting to a few old acquaintances. This was a dream, wasn't it? It can't possibly be true. And who the hell was that girl next to him, _Maya_?

Lenalee felt her head spin, but things got even worse when the very same girl turned her head around and actually seemed to recognize her.

"Omigosh, is that…is that Lenalee?" Maya exclaimed, almost knocking over her juice.

The moment she sat that, everyone practically turned to look at her.

"Lenalee, join us! Lavi and Bookman are back!" Reever gestured.

Lenalee wanted to, but she couldn't. What's worse was that when her eyes met Lavi's, he stood up, eyes filling up with concern. _Run, Lenalee, run!_ That was the first thing that came to mind, and without hesitation, she bowed in apology and then took off.

Impossible! This was too sudden! How did Lavi end up here? Why? When?

She ran and ran, going as fast as her legs could take her, hand cupping her mouth to prevent herself from actually crying out. In the midst of running, she knocked right into someone, and was about to even scream, except that the someone engulfed her in a hug.

"Lenalee, Lenalee, it's okay, I'm here for you," Allen said softly, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe.

"He's…he's back, Allen," Lenalee choked, "Lavi. He's back…here."

"I heard from Johnny. I was about to go get you."

"What am I supposed to do?"

But Allen stayed silent, because the answer was obvious. There's nothing they could do.

"I…I heard that Lavi's getting married, Lenalee."

And when Allen told her that, Lenalee had no idea what to feel. Sad, that the person she had always loved was getting married? Happy, that maybe this was what she needed to make her give up? Or perhaps just disappointed, because he wasn't fighting to be by her side?

"I heard the girl's a Bookman too, and her dad's here. I'm not sure when it'd be, but the venue is right here in the headquarters all right. I'm really sorry."

Lenalee felt stunned. Never in her life would she actually think that Maya was a Bookman. All along, her vision had been just _Bookman and Lavi are the only Bookmen in the world_. And getting married? So, had Lavi known Maya all this while, which was why he broke up with her?

As Allen comforted her, she heard quick paced footsteps approaching them. Spinning around, there she found Lavi in quick breaths, probably searching for her for some time.

The moment she saw him looking at them, she could feel instant jealousy, which Lavi tried to hide.

Allen pushed Lenalee behind him, taking a step forward. "Why did you come?"

Lavi's eyes wandered in mid air, "I don't want to hear anything from you. What do you think you're doing with Lenalee?"

"Do you even have the right to ask me that?"

"ALLEN!" Lavi shot Allen a dirty look, pissed.

"I gave in because you were my best friend, Lavi. And I gave up, because Lenalee was your girl. I gave you endless opportunities, even right up to the last moment at the bridge, even when you broke her heart over and over again."

"Shut up!"

"…But I'm not going to sit back and watch this happen all over again. No way am I going to let you do this to Lenalee…"

"I said, shut up!" Lavi punched Allen across his face, furious. Blood splattered on the ground, as Allen hit the side of a concrete wall, his lips blood-stained.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Lenalee cried out. She ran over to Allen's side, supporting him, on the verge of tears before turning to look at Lavi.

"What now? Do you have something to say to me?"

Lavi looked at Lenalee, blinking the tears that threatened to fall, back.

"Whatever you told me the other day, I got it. After all, you're a very busy person, aren't you? I'm simply not worth your time."

"Lena...Lenalee," Lavi's voice was so soft, she could hardly hear him.

Turning to smile at Lavi, even though tears was streaming down, she said, "It's okay, Lavi. You're a Bookman, right? From now on, you don't even have to bother about me or Allen. Anyway, you were just pretending to like us by treating us like your comrades."

"…And…And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I fell for the wrong guy."

Lavi watched on as Lenalee helped pick Allen up, and lead him away towards the bathroom.

Then, he simply collapsed on the ground, wanting to cry but he just couldn't.

Allen had been his best friend since the first time they met. Did he really treat Allen as just a page to be filled up in history, or as a real friend he counted on? Throughout all the missions they had together, didn't Allen save his ass countless times? Wasn't he worried when Allen disappeared and was proposed to be dead in China?

And Lenalee. He loved her since forever. All along, he didn't believe in having true feelings but with Lenalee, he showed all that. He held her hand as a friend, fought alongside her as a comrade and loved her in an unexplainable way. All these feelings he had, he showed, but what did he get in return?

Truthfully, nothing like he'd expected.

So Lavi just sat there, head heavy, waiting for time to go by.

Hopefully till the day where he'd just get married and get the heck out of this place.

* * *

Lenalee soaked the face towel in warm water again, before squeezing it dry and dabbing it on Allen's wound.

It must hurt, since Lavi really did seriously hit Allen hard, but Allen stayed brave, not even letting out half a whimper.

"I'm sorry for what Lavi's done to you, Allen," Lenalee sighed. "It must hurt a lot."

"This is nothing, compared to what Tyki has done to try and end my life," Allen flinched. "And as compared to me, I'm sure you're the one hurting a lot more."

Lenalee took a dry towel and wipe the wound clean, "Well, no matter what, using your fist to hit your friend is wrong. Lavi shouldn't have done that."

"You know, he was just jealous and conflicted."

"You're kidding. I'm just something he wants to get away from. And his getting married has got nothing to do with us, least of all you, yet you're still speaking for him?"

Allen blinks and Lenalee turns away to think.

Why? Why did Lavi have to get married? The more she thought about it, the more painful it got.

"You have any idea who he's getting married to? Who the girl is, I mean."

Lenalee bites her lower lip. "Yeah, I do."

And that just makes it all the harder to stomach.

* * *

The cafeteria was a complete mad house. People popping champagne, laughing along with each other's words and food being tossed about once in awhile. It was most definitely hectic.

The obvious buzz was about Lavi getting married, right here, in this very place. Everyone seems happy that Lavi and Bookman are back. Who would've thought Lavi, of all people, would be the very first exorcist to have his wedding here?

"You okay with this?" Allen asked, while leading Lenalee into the party.

"Mmm. I can handle it." Lenalee assures him, though she knew she didn't sound very convincing.

Then, a very small-sized, old man stood up, instantly gaining the attention he wanted. This person was none other than Bookman himself.

"Evening, everyone. After almost a year, Bookman Junior, Lavi, and I are pleased to be back here to celebrate with the Order a very special occasion. That is, my stupid grandson and disciple Lavi, will be getting married to fellow Bookman, Brock's daughter and exorcist, Maya, whose just turned 18. And of course, the wedding will take place right here, in the headquarters of the Order."

Many chorused loudly in approval, raising their glasses or mugs and yelling out. Lenalee regretted coming already. Just by seeing the smile on Lavi's face was enough to kill her, and to add on, she found out Maya was a Bookman and fellow exorcist. It was a horrible feeling to hold in.

She watched as Lavi laughed loudly along with the people that surrounded him, as if nothing happened at all that morning.

Then, she saw Maya come over to Lavi, linking her arm with his and smiling up at him like a young girl finally meeting the guy of her dreams. Lenalee rarely got upset but instead of letting it out, she'd rather take it all on her own.

Even with Allen following closely behind her, Lenalee went over to the table that they placed the beer on and took a swig out of an entire, newly-opened bottle.

"Lenalee, you shouldn't…"

"Leave me alone, Allen." And Lenalee continues drinking; hoping the hurt would melt away, like what she thought beer was made for. It didn't.

Still, she just kept drinking, even though the beer truly tasted nasty and it made her head ache. Images of Lavi and Maya together kept replaying like a tape in her mind, and she was sick of it.

"Lenalee, please stop." Allen said angrily, trying to grab the whole bottle away.

"Leave…I said, leave me alone," Lenalee yelled back, before really letting the bottle crash to the ground. Theh, she felt a sudden terrible feeling and she could feel her stomach churn, rejecting all the beer. Cupping her mouth, Lenalee dashed out of the cafeteria.

Her eyes were blurry with all the beer that she took, mixed with all the angry emotions. Searching around for a bin and not finding one, Lenalee simply hurled in the middle of a dark and empty hall way, before feeling better and leaning against a pillar.

Allen scurried after Lenalee and found her there, drunk and only half-awake, her face flushed.

"Now, we've got to get you back to your room." Allen helped Lenalee off the ground and piggy-backed her towards the dorms.

"Al..Allen." Lenalee said groggily.

"Mmm."

"I was…" Lenalee hiccupped then, "I was thinking of…you know…all the what."

"What are thinking of?"

Lenalee hiccupped again, "…everything would be fine if…*hic*…if I fell for you instead of La…vi."

Allen was stunned, but then again, he didn't want to completely believe everything a girl says when she's drunk and trying to recover from a heart ache.

"Silly."

Allen pushed Lenalee's room door open with the side of his body and lowers her carefully into her bed. He removed her shoes and tucked her in, while removing the ribbons in her hair so she could sleep better.

He had no idea why he's doing so much. But seeing Lenalee peacefully in her bed, asleep, he couldn't resist giving her a light kiss on her forehead.

Leaving, Allen took another look at Lenalee and mumbled to himself, "How I wish you really fell for me instead of Lavi."

But it was only a wish, which never came true.

* * *

Lenalee inched towards the bathroom, towel and clothes in hand. Funny, she woke up in her bed, though she couldn't recall ever crawling in on her own. The last memory she had was of her taking mouthfuls of that nasty beer stuff and before she knew it, it was already another day.

How bizarre.

Lenalee walked on, stretching, before someone called out to her.

"Lenalee! Oi, Lenalee!"

Lenalee spun around to see Maya, her hair all done up in a messy ponytail and jogging up towards her excitedly.

"I knew it was you. Your hair has a slight tint of green to it and my eyes are sharp, I tell you."

Lenalee smiles hesitantly, "Morning, Maya."

"Hey, what's the matter," Maya pouted a little, "I'm your life saver but you're not even the least bit happy to see me, it seems. But never mind, I'm really excited to see you though."

"Oh, it's just…I just woke up, that's all. I'm excited too. But what are you doing over at this part of the Order?"

Maya shrugged, "Ah, that shy boy. He got a shock when I said I wanted to share a bathroom with him. Honestly, he could be more accommodating but instead, he told me to go find a bathroom over here."

_She must mean Lavi_, Lenalee thought.

"Oh. Well, there's another bathroom down the hall this way," Lenalee pointed.

"That's good. This place is _sooo_ different from the French branch. I'm still trying to get used to it."

Lenalee felt uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with Maya, but hey, it was just to brush her teeth and wash up. Nothing to it.

"Sho, how zid the couple retreat go in China? Did chu have fun?" Maya asked, while brushing her teeth.

"Ah, Allen's not my boyfriend, just a good friend," Lenalee remarked, hoping Maya doesn't get the wrong idea.

"Oh, now dat's a pity. Chu guys couldave been really cute togezer."

Lenalee gave a laugh. Sure, Allen was cute, and he had good looks and a great personality to boot, but she had never looked at him in that way. He was just a really, really close guy friend.

"I can't believe it," Maya said, wiping her mouth with a towel, "I mean, what are the odds that you're an exorcist too?" Lenalee spotted Maya eyeing her exorcist suit.

"Hah. Well, what are the odds that you're an exorcist _and_ a Bookman as well?"

"True. But this is just getting better! We'll be living together under the same roof! We could be like sisters!"

Lenalee raised both eyebrows, "eh…huh?"

Maya jumped up excitedly and took Lenalee's face in her hands, shaking her about with laughter. "Oh my god, you are so cute! You really appealed to me the first time I've met you! This is fate, Lenalee!"

Lenalee stood there, slightly dumbfounded. Maya sure is an easily excitable thing, isn't she?

"Now," Maya grabbed Lenalee by the arm the second she was done, "Let's go find that little devil. He should be done by now, I'd bet."

So Lenalee ended up getting pulled along into Maya's plan. Maya dragged Lenalee all the way to the male dorms, right in front of Lavi's room, and rapped on the door.

Lavi opened it while wiping his hair dry with a towel, "What?"

"What do you mean by what? I am your fiancée, stupid. Can't your fiancée come by your room anytime she wants?"

Lavi half-rolled his eyes, and then spots Lenalee standing behind in silence.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Maya lets out another mega-watt smile, pulling Lenalee close to her, "Do you guys know each other?" Not expecting a reply, she went on, "Anyway, we're now sisters! And she's going to help me with our wedding needs!"

Lenalee gave Maya a quizzical look. "Wha…what?"

"Isn't she just adorable, Lavi? Don't reject me though, Lenalee. You're the only person I could think of to help me with this!"

Lavi sighed, "Don't just drag people into your weird ideas, Monkey. And what wedding needs? This isn't a big event okay."

"Duh, of course it is! From the bridal wear, to the jewelry, right down to the color of the table cloths! I mean, you're a guy and you don't bother but I do! A wedding is every girl's dream!"

"Well, dream on, but don't just pull Lenalee into your schemes. I know what you're thinking, Monkey."

Maya stuck a tongue out, and turned to Lenalee, "He's always like this, so just ignore him alright. I can't wait to go shopping for wedding stuff with you! You have to, and I mean _have_ to, be my bridesmaid, pleasepleaseplease?"

Lenalee didn't have a choice but to nod weakly with a smile, causing Maya to exclaim in delight.

"Oi! Stop that. Leave her alone and just…go somewhere else, will you?" Lavi raised his voice.

Maya crossed her arms and for once, seriously stared at Lavi. "So listen to this. My name is Maya and I'm your fiancée, you got that? Well, keep that in mind. From today onwards, I'm going to train you. Whether you like it or not."

Maya pulled Lenalee by the arm again, away, while Lavi stared after them with a blank look.

"Wait a minute. Where are we going, Maya?"

"I'm really pumped now, and I've got a long list of things that I want to take care of. We can start by pampering ourselves a little!"

So without knowing, Lenalee was thrown into a series of events like getting their hair done, buying plenty of makeup and new clothes and grabbing good food along the way.

Maybe having Maya as a sister isn't all that bad after all.

They sat down at a nearby café and waited for their food to arrive.

"…So since young, I've traveled everywhere, I swear. Africa, Europe, Asia…you name it, I pretty much have it nailed. And I was home-schooled by my dad, so I cook, I clean and I know a total of 23 languages including a few dialects. I didn't have time to make any friends at all. Everyday's just, record, interpret wars blah blah blah. It gets really boring sometimes."

Maya went on and on about some of the more outrageous adventures she had and Lenalee listened, as she enjoyed the rich chocolate cake.

"So, what kind of clothes do Lavi like? I mean, does he like his girl wearing the girly kind, dark color kind or the cute kind of clothes?"

Lenalee looked up, "Mmm, you don't have to bother. He's busy enough trying to make himself look good from head to toe. He won't notice what you're wearing half the time."

Maya laughed. "You know him since he joined the Order right, Lenalee? Could you tell me more about him? I'm getting to really like him more and more. He's serious, but I like it when he loosens up…so tell me please, Lenalee. I'm dying to know."

Lenalee looked at Maya skeptically.

"Uhm…well, you see, he's really…a really annoying guy. He can be very ignorant…very flirtatious too…"

Everything was coming back again. She was even awed at her own ability to remember everything so well.

"… And he likes to crack jokes and tease people but he really stands by his comrades in a fight. And…sometimes, when he just looks at you, it feels like he can see right through you and feel what you're feeling…I dunno, it's just…"

And Lenalee shuts up, realizing she might have said too much.

"Hmm, anyway, he's mostly an idiot though," Lenalee continued, "I think he might just be the craziest of all the people I've met."

Maya looked amazed, "Wow. You do know him quite well don't you? That's good. I want to ask you another favour."

"Me?"

"Yes. I really want things to work out well between us and you've been around guys your age more than I have. Could you please be my love coach from on? Please?"

It was so hard to say no, especially to someone like Maya, so Lenalee only could nod, sending Maya yet into another loud shriek. She only wished she knew what she was getting herself into.

* * *

"Rare to see you here, Usagi."

Lavi was sitting at the side of the training ground, cross legged, elbow propped on his knee and hand supporting his head. Kanda was busy waving his sword left right and centre, so Lavi only watched on. Usually, he avoided the place, choosing the library instead but today, he was feeling perplexed.

"Really, Kanda, you're getting slower as you get older."

"Are you here to mock me, damn rabbit?"

Lavi sighed loudly, throwing himself outstretched on the empty floor.

Kanda then stopped, beads of perspiration gleaming in the light from his face, and approached Lavi.

"You sure look happy for a guy getting married."

"You," Lavi pointed at Kanda who stood tall next to him, "have no idea."

"You don't want to get married to her at all, do you?"

Lavi never answered Kanda's question. And it was then when Allen came in, disrupting his train of thoughts.

Lavi got up, avoided Allen's gaze and brushed past Allen to get out of the place.

Seeing Kanda in the hot afternoon was bad enough, but Allen wondered how things turned so sour between him and Lavi. And for once, instead of yelling at him to get the hell out, Kanda actually spoke.

"Looks to me Lavi doesn't want to get married to that Maya girl after all."

* * *

It's been quite a day. Lenalee tumbled into bed, thinking.

Maya's a really strange girl. But still, her character isn't one where you could dislike. After all, she's bubbly, fun and pretty, and considering all those facts, girls and guys alike would love to get to know her.

She didn't even have time to get to warm her spot on the bed when someone knocked on her door.

And that someone simply burst in, dragging a blanket and holding a pillow in her hand.

"Can I spend the night here, sis?" Maya asked in excitement.

The only possible flaw she had was that she did things without bothering to ask. Simply dumping her things on the ground, right next to Lenalee's bed, she settled in so easily.

"This," Maya said as her head hit her pillow, "is exactly like a slumber party. I've always wanted to do something like this my whole life."

"Huh." Lenalee leaned across to turn the light off.

Silence filled the room for awhile, and Lenalee was even feeling uncomfortable because she wasn't hearing anything out of Maya.

"This is a really cool room you've got, Lenalee." Maya finally piped.

"Really? Thanks."

"It's really fascinating, meeting you, Lavi and even Allen in China. Must've been fate."

"You have known Lavi since…since he's been in China?"

Maya shook her head, smiling. "No, I wish. I met him only like a week before actually, but the moment I saw him, I really took an instant liking for him. And all this uproar about an engagement. If it were some other boy, I would've kicked a big fuss."

"…but from the second I laid my eyes on him, my heart raced. It was…a rush! Have you ever felt like that? I mean, do you have anyone you like?"

Lenalee stayed quiet, not sure of how to react.

"So you do have someone you like!" Maya was using her excited, curious voice again. "What's he like?"

"Erm…he's…he's a very serious person. He never fails to finish what he starts."

"Oohhh. That means he's an earnest guy that has deep interest in everything he does. Not bad, sis. A guy like that never ends a relationship and persists to the end."

Lenalee didn't give a reply. The girl must have been burying her nose into too many girl novels and watching romantic dramas. How could someone like her know_ anything_ about relationships when she's already getting married to the first guy she's been forced to date?

Maya took Lenalee's silence as a sign that she's fallen asleep, so she mumbled a lazy goodnight before really falling asleep herself.

Lenalee curled up to one side. Memories and past images kept flashing in her mind.

"_Then, will you…will you forget me? I mean, when…when you leave."_

"_Never in a hundred years, Lenalee. No other pretty girl from any other part of the world can compete with you."_

And she remembered that Lavi mouthed that he'll come back when he was leaving on the train and she had to admit, she'd always thought he meant he'll be back for her.

Lenalee wiped the stray tears with the back of her hand.

Why does it always seem like the more she wants to forget him, the harder it gets? Honestly, she should be thinking of all the mean things he'd said, but right now, she could only remember how he used to love her.

The times where he sat next to her, watching her read and looking amused.

The times where he teased her, then making her get all upset just so he could hug her and say he was sorry without a straight face.

The times where he just kissed her, making every bad thing that could go wrong in a day look so small and trivial.

_That_, was the Lavi she wanted. And somehow, deep inside, he must surely be there, she was positive.

Lenalee was nearly drifting off into slumber when she took a peek at Maya. The girl was fast asleep, her hair a mess all about her.

She felt bad, really.

She wanted to have Lavi so badly. But perhaps, just perhaps, he wasn't hers to have after all.

And with that, Lenalee cried herself to sleep, till morning breaks and the sunlight begin to burst into the room.

_To be continued-_

* * *

Chapter 3 already! I re-read my past 2 chapters and thought maybe they were too depressing (?), so I tried my best to make this chap a little lighter. More focus on Lenalee this time round. But naturally, I'm going to put Allen, Lavi & Lenalee into a lot of agony. (O.O) &of course, with 'Maya' in the story, it's going to be complicated. (Sorry, but I'm evil like that.)

Hmm. usually when I write, I like to listen to songs. So recently, I got hooked onto sad songs (since my fics are mostly all sad in one way or another). The song that really inspired me in this chapter was _Ai no Uta_ by Mai Fukui! (That was also the theme song for _Koizora_, drama version & I highly recommend it!)

Shall be on hiatus (again), since I'm going overseas for a holiday trip soon, so be back…whenever. Reviews are most welcomed, so do R&R! Thank you! :D


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 already! (Best read with sad, depressing music playing on your itunes, if possible) HEH.

Do enjoy:)

* * *

Two weeks. That was exactly how long more it was till Lavi and Maya were to walk down the aisle.

Somehow, after a series of weird discussions at the morning breakfast table, Maya got more and more eager to get her wedding list checked off. And this in turn, meant Lavi, Lenalee and Allen had to go on a shopping spree _together_.

"…and then, there are the corsages, the bouquet, flowers…," Maya was walking ahead of everyone, stopping almost in front of every store to satisfy her 'need to look at nice things' and also to see if there was anything from it that could be used in the wedding.

Lavi wasn't the least bit interested, only occasionally nodding or shaking his head when Maya asked for an opinion before sinking his hands back into the deeps of his pockets. This marriage thing was boring the hell out of him. He'd much rather memorize page after page after page of text than be dragged around to decide the color of a bunch of _chair covers_. Pffft.

Allen, however, noticed how Lavi always snapped out of his trance whenever Maya called for Lenalee. His eyes would then follow her, though trying hard to not look too concerned at the same time. Allen couldn't help but sigh.

It's been a whole hour since they started shopping and following Maya around and the girl seemed to finally catch on. "Oh, you know what guys; I'm just going to get the place cards and fabric for the dresses settled. Why don't the three of you carry on without me?"

Nobody said anything, and then Allen nodded. "Yeah, I'm hungry for some food already. Want to join us before going off though?"

Maya politely rejected his offer. "No, I'm not that hungry yet. Besides, there's really a lot to be done, so I'd just…" And Maya skipped off with a wink into another direction.

_This is so, so awkward_, Lenalee thought. There was just the three of them now, and if it were in the past, they'd be okay and having fun together. But now…

"All right, lunch! Let's all have Maki with crushed Wasabi Peas! I'm in the mood for something hot." Allen's eyes sparkled excitedly.

"Man, no way," Lavi gave a disgusted face, "Japanese is fine but…I hate Wasabi."

It wasn't that Allen didn't know that. After all, he'd known Lavi for so long, and unless forced and necessary, the guy wouldn't go anywhere near Wasabi.

"But I really, really want to have something hot today! Hmm…how 'bout you and Lenalee have lunch together without me then? We can meet back at the headquarters in the evening."

Lavi raised an eyebrow, "Uh, Allen, that idea…"

"It's a good idea, I know. After all, Wasabi isn't something everyone appreciates. After that, maybe you guys could take a walk around. I'm going back first after lunch to…to train! Before Kanda hogs the training ground again."

Both Lavi and Lenalee were obviously apprehensive about the idea, but Allen insisted. And then, they just watched on as Allen left hurriedly.

"So…" Lavi turned to look at Lenalee.

"Well, since we're now stuck with each other, we might as well make the best of it right? Going back this early would be a little boring. There's this book I've wanted to get...," Lenalee said, leading the way.

Lavi therefore tagged along after the petite girl. He'd almost forgotten how good it feels to just be with Lenalee. She won't complain or cling on to you, the way Maya does. With Lenalee, it was simply peaceful and easy.

And for once, Lavi didn't mind shopping. Lenalee did get the book she wanted and they actually had cheap ice-cream from a push-cart, which tasted really good. And he'd lost track of the time when he just laughed along to random topics that they shared. Who would've thought Komui actually takes an interest in sewing, of all the weird things he did?

It was all going good, just the two of them, finally alone. The aimless walking took them near the coast, where they strolled along the boardwalk.

And suddenly, there was only silence between them. Like maybe they'd both realized reality is something you can't run away from and no matter how things go, Lavi will still have to marry Maya at the end of the day and that was the truth. Lenalee hated this. This just made her feel worse.

Lavi seemed to have read her like an open book. "Even if it sounds funny for a Bookman to say, it's not my personality to let things go."

"Wha…what?"

"…the engagement wasn't my idea, Lenalee."

"It wasn't mine either." Wondering why she spoke up so readily out of nowhere, she turned to face Lavi and continued, "And you trying to explain that to someone whose face you want to erase. I just…I just can't accept it, Lavi."

Lenalee's eyes wandered away, unable to look at him. She knew she sounded mean, but she couldn't help it. Lavi should understand, but anyway, it was all over. As much as she tried to forget the fact for the day, he is after all still Maya's fiancé.

And then she found Lavi's jacket around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Lavi murmured, covering Lenalee up.

Lenalee looked down at her arms, and noticed they were littered with goose bumps. That was what you get for walking near the coast in a tube dress in the evening, but what touched her most was the fact that Lavi actually noticed.

She didn't want to think that what he did was more than concern for a friend but then, Lavi went on to hug her, his arms around her shoulders fully.

Lavi didn't know what the heck he was doing either. The reason being _Lenalee was cold_, was more than enough to cause him to want to give her more warmth. How long has it been since he actually hugged her? And whatever problems that may arise from this, he'd deal with later. He just needed her in his arms, for now, even if it's just a little while.

"La…Lavi," Lenalee said, her voice soft.

"Just a while more," Lavi said, not wanting this to end, "to keep you warm."

_I can't do this. This isn't fair to Maya at all. And what will Bookman, Brock, and everyone else in the Order think if they even knew? Everyone would blame Lavi and Bookman will be so disappointed in him. And I'd look like the third wheel._

Yet, the longer Lavi held on to her, the more Lenalee couldn't bear to tear herself away from him. She could feel his hair tickling the side of her face, hear his heavy breathing, and even feel his heartbeat against her chest, but that was all him. It was all too familiar, that she couldn't help but give in. It was Lavi, _her_ Lavi, so why can't she be a little bit more selfish to want him for a moment to herself?

She wondered how long they stood there, but it was so comfortable. As much as she knew it was wrong, as much she knew _Lavi_ knew it was wrong, she won't be the first to tell him they should stop this. This was Lavi's duty, and silently, selfishly, she enjoyed this, even if the big picture is hard to stomach.

Finally, Lavi breathed a hard and heavy sigh, and he let go. When he did, a pang of emptiness hit Lenalee, and she had to resist screaming out for Lavi to please come back, and hold her again. Already, she was missing his touch, his warmth.

Lavi's single green eye looked at her sadly, and there wasn't even a faint hint of light in it. This was the emotional side of him, the side Lenalee has never seen him show anyone, except maybe to Bookman when he was taught all these things perhaps.

Lavi then gave a short laugh, and ran his fingers in her beautiful shoulder-length hair, tucking a lock of it behind her ear. Even when it's windblown and a mess and he'd expected his fingers to get caught between the tangles, they didn't.

"Wait," Lavi seems to have remembered something, "I've got something to give you."

Puzzled, Lenalee waited as Lavi felt in his pockets for whatever he was looking for. And she watched on, unspeaking, as he pulled out a small, yet stunning necklace, hooked to a heart-shaped pendant, and reached out to behind her neck to help put it on for her. The pendant felt cool against her skin, and of course, she was touched. Lavi, on the other hand, seem to be having a problem getting the clasp on right.

"God, Lavi, what's this for?" Lenalee asked, practically speechless.

Lavi fumbled with the clasp, conspicuously annoyed, but managed to get it done anyway. With a very satisfied smile, he answered, "Last year's birthday gift. Happy belated birthday, Lenalee."

Lenalee held it up, fingers running across the engraved words that were her name. It was so sweet, nothing elaborate, and thank god for the high collared uniforms they get, she could even hide it without her nosey brother noticing. _Though again with the hiding._

"Is it…well, it's nothing big, I know. I just saw it when I did a stopover at Finland. Gramps was getting some coffee then, so I bought it mostly out of impulse when I remembered I haven't got you anything earlier in the year."

It was so pretty, gleaming slightly from the warm and setting evening sun. A sudden feel of happiness washed over Lenalee, and the tears just pricked her eyes.

Even through her blurred vision, she could see something...something small that was engraved at the bottom. It looked a little like a letter 'L'. Lavi caught her straining her eyes at it and laughed, "I got the shop owner to engrave an 'L' at the bottom. So you'll always know this came from me."

Lenalee looked up at him, eyes shining from the moisture that were her tears. Never in her life had anyone given her something quite like this. Necklaces and other accessories, yes, but something as thoughtful as this coming from Lavi was just…

"Oh man, don't cry now, will you," Lavi said, reaching out to wipe her tears away with his thumb, "Girls, especially you, Lenalee, just love to cry at times like these huh?"

"I'm just…you know…this is so great…," Lenalee fought to even say something properly, but couldn't. Of course, she was too happy for words. Lavi getting her _this_ was a sign that he'd never meant what he said at the bridge. But there came the reality check: she could never betray Maya, or allow Lavi to do so either.

"Lavi, this is too overwhelming. But…I can never do this to Maya," Lenalee swallowed hard, "She's my friend and you're fiancé, and…and that's how things were supposed to be."

Lavi gave at her another heart-wrenching smile, and understood perfectly, "I know."

They stood looking at each other, with Lavi holding her cold hands in his warm ones, and came to realize that this had to be the end. Because she loved him, she'll have to learn to let go and not stand in his path. And because he felt the same way about her, he'd learn too, even if it's painful.

Lavi closed his eyes and leaned down a little to put his forehead against hers. Whispering, he said ever so quietly, "I'm really happy, Lenalee. Thank you."

Lenalee nodded, her tears falling, but she managed a smile too. It was one last thing she could give Lavi after all.

* * *

Forgoing dinner, Lavi and Lenalee simply strolled together on the way back the Order. Hour after hour swept by, as they walked along, only stopping once to get a seat at a public bench, just to buy a bit more time, but because people will start to talk if they weren't back soon, they couldn't afford to stay out too late. Every moment seemed essential, when it was most possibly the last time they'll ever truly get to be with each other.

With absolute dread, they approached the Order. Where it was back to becoming like strangers, and back to pretending they were nothing more than mere comrades.

Barely making it past the gatekeeper, however, a nasty surprise awaited for them.

Brock stood tall, with his hands folded and watching, as they made it in. What was he doing standing there was definitely questionable, but neither Lavi nor Lenalee wanted to ask. "Uh, hey, Brock. We just got back," Lavi said, trying to make the mood seem lighter. It sounded lame, but it was the best he got at the moment. Lenalee avoided speaking, choosing to bow politely instead. Already, she was feeling guilty.

Brock lifted his tiny, suspecting eyes, "It's already ten in the night. Maya and Allen Walker reached the Order hours ago, but what happened to you two?"

Lavi shrugged, "We were just catching up with each other." _What were they, like five?_

"A guy and a girl together alone?"

"It's nothing, Brock, really," Lavi continued, "We just had a lot to say and the queue at the diner was horrendous."

Brock didn't seem satisfied with Lavi's answer. "Lavi, I have eyes too. I'm a Bookman as well, and you should already know where I'm going with this. What the hell is an engaged man doing with another girl outside till this late?"

Lavi's throat instantly went dry. Brock ignored him and looked over towards Lenalee. _Shit, she still has my jacket on_, Lavi remembered. He should have gotten it back from her before they went in, but who would've thought Brock would be standing here waiting for them? If it were Bookman, he'd get a bashing at most, but at least, he'd leave Lenalee alone. Brock, he wasn't so sure.

"Lenalee, you're Supervisor Komui Lee's sister, aren't you?"

It was a freaking rhetorical question. As if anybody who worked in the Order didn't know that, needless to say a Bookman like Brock. Yet, Lavi could only stand there, unable to interrupt, unable to speak for Lenalee.

"Yes, I am."

"I take it that you're also the reason Lavi's been distracted from his wedding with my daughter?"

Lenalee refused to say anything, her lips pressed to a thin line.

"Since the day I got here, the both of you have been acting strangely. Along with Walker too, but that's a little beside the point. Pardon me, Miss Lee, for being harsh, but I must say this. Maya takes you as a very good friend of hers, and I also want her to have a smooth wedding, thus she knows nothing about this. Imagine what others would think of you _and_ your brother, the supervisor may I repeat, if they knew you were trying to get to someone else's fiancé."

Lenalee's eyes widened. Was this…a threat? If it isn't, it heck sounds a lot like one.

Brock's tone remained cold and unfriendly, as he turned to Lavi. "Get your jacket back from the girl, Lavi. And your dignity as well." With that, he marched off, but it was obvious that if Lavi didn't hurry up and follow him, he might come after him with a hacksaw the next time round.

Lavi turned to see Lenalee, who was as still as a rock, and unmoving. Never had she in her life been so badly insulted. It was like Brock just called her a slut for butting in to someone else's marriage, and dragged everything else important in her life down with it while he's at it.

Lavi tried to touch her face, but she turned away instead upon immediate realization. She didn't even want him to look at her, because she was so humiliated. Scrambling to get out of his jacket, she pushed it into Lavi's arms, leaving herself cold again. "Get going," she said bitingly, "I'll be fine." She knew that if she didn't say this, Lavi might do something dumb that they might both regret later on.

Lavi sighed, gave another worried look at her direction, before rushing off once more.

_This sucks. This really sucks._ Lavi cursed along the way, pissed as hell, but mostly just angry with himself that he couldn't do anything. God, why was he so damn frigging _useless_? Distraught, Lavi spotted a nearby Golem in the hallway, those that were always around the Order so anyone can easily find a way to communicate to someone elsewhere in the Order if they needed to. Practically grabbing at it, he asked to connect to Allen's golem, Timcanpy.

To get a call so suddenly was weird. Allen Walker sat up on his bed, tossing aside a bag of chips, and nodded for Timcanpy to transfer the call. Hearing Lavi's voice was most definitely bewildering part.

"Lavi? What happened?" Allen asked. Lavi wouldn't call him from inside the Order itself, unless something strange or bad was happening.

"It's Lenalee. I…I've been horrible to her and I'm worried. I can't go to her right now, but she should be somewhere near the main entrance, so could you go find her? Talk to her, anything. I hope you can help me make sure she'll be okay."

"What did you do to her? What did you say?" Allen demanded. He was getting all worked up and all that, but he didn't care.

Lavi sounded exasperated on the other side of the line. "I've…been just awful to her. I'm sorry. I just really need you to help me right now, Allen. I'm counting on you."

Allen made a '_che_' sound, similar to the ones Kanda made when he was pissed off and hung up on Lavi. So what's new? Lavi was always doing these things to Lenalee. Why did he even leave them alone, given Lavi another chance again at that, to cause Lenalee more heartbreak? He couldn't have been dumber than he already was.

Worse of all, Lavi's information was just wrong. Lenalee wasn't anywhere around the first level. The Order wasn't exactly 100 x 100 square meters per floor and looking around on one floor was enough to cause Allen to fret even more.

Bustling around, he was getting more and more anxious just looking. Passing by the piano room, he could almost swear he heard something. Stopping instantly, he strained his ears to listen, and true enough, if you listened carefully, there really was someone playing inside.

That very someone was Lenalee, who'd shifted the centre pedal so the sound turned out muffled. She was playing _The Swan_ again, only this time; it was slow, sad, and pained Allen so much, even by just looking at her do so.

He couldn't take this anymore. She was always like this. It never gets better, whenever he, Lavi, appears.

And then Lenalee pauses, lifting her fingers away from the keys and turns to look at him, her beautiful, delicate face tear-stained. It just breaks his heart so much, that he pulls forwards and takes her in his arms. Lenalee was stunned, but maybe for a second, before weeping loudly.

"Lenalee, Lenalee…," Allen holds her, and feels her skin cold to the touch. The poor girl was freezing cold. Why couldn't he be there for her better? Why? Why?

While being furious with himself, Allen suddenly finds Lenalee's hands cupping his face. She'd stop crying that hard; only sniffing a little and struggling to regain composure. "Allen, I'm…I'm fine," she breathed, "I'm really okay."

"No, you're not. I couldn't do anything for you again. I don't know, I…," Allen held both her wrists, tilting his head downwards, seemingly unable to face her.

Lenalee gave a laugh. "Silly."

It was almost a relief to her voice sounding better, but still, it wasn't enough to satisfy. Lenalee went on, "Allen…I…I wonder what I'd do without Lavi."

Allen lifted his silver-gray eyes to meet Lenalee's, silently questioning her thus she simply goes on.

"I can't do anything for him. At all. He's suffering so much, maybe even more than I am, but I just don't know what I can do or say to make things better. Do you know? I feel…so horribly lousy inside right now." Lenalee puts her head on Allen's shoulder. "And as much I wish I could hate Maya, I can't. She didn't do anything bad and I know she's truthful to Lavi, as much as I am. I just can't be this selfish. I…I…"

Lenalee closed her eyes, not noticing Allen's head bowed low. For once, she didn't cry anymore, but instead, she just felt exhausted. After all, it's been quite a long day. She needed for it to just end.

Lavi stands outside the room in silence. There's so much expected from him, that he doesn't know what the best to be done is. But he will do something, even if it means choosing and hurting someone else, he will have to.

* * *

Another morning came. Yesterday had been so dramatic; it was enough to drive anybody up the wall.

Lenalee walked to the science department, her hands full with a whole tray of coffee for the guys. She felt slightly lethargic but she wasn't going to let it get to her. Allen had been so encouraging all these while; she just couldn't afford to let him down.

Ah, Allen. He didn't say much to console her last night, but he did stay by her side. It seems like whenever something happens, he would know and be the first to get to her. Somehow, it feels like he's keeping something from her, but Lenalee has no idea what.

Approaching the Science department doors, Lenalee went through her plans for the day in her head. There was so much training to be done, and she knew she had been slacking. Just then, Lavi himself walked out, several papers in his hands.

He lifted his head to see Lenalee, but instead of even a simple hello, all he did was to brush pass her, emotionless.

Lenalee stood rooted to the ground, only hearing Lavi's footsteps going further and further away. Biting her lower lip, she forced herself to move forward. This was not going to get to her, she swore under her breath. After all, they were over.

* * *

10:35Pm. Barely three minutes ago, Lenalee got a call from Maya's golem to hers to meet outside at the courtyard. It had reminded her of Lavi's attitude to her in the morning, but she had ignored it. Maya sounded weird across the call, and if she needed Lenalee, Lenalee was going to be there for her.

The weather outside was freezing cold. Even being in a jacket and long pants, Lenalee could still feel the chill biting her fingers and toes. With a quick scan, she still couldn't locate Maya.

Then, a pair of arms wrapped Lenalee around her shoulders from behind. Lenalee almost thought they were Lavi's, and froze for a second before whipping around to see Maya. The poor girl's eyes and nose were red, as if she had been rubbing hard at them, and clearly, she had been crying.

"What's wrong?" Lenalee questioned.

"Lavi…Lavi, he…," Maya whimpered, blinking her eyes quickly several times, as though she was about to cry again.

"What happened? Did something bad happen to Lavi?"

Maya shook her head, evidently trying hard to control her tears from spilling out. And then she lets out a small smile of happiness. "Lavi. He just told me that he wants to go out with me for real."

Maya went on to hug Lenalee again, not noticing Lenalee's widened eyes. "He asked me to be his girlfriend. I thought…I thought I would go crazy and die of happiness if I didn't tell this to someone soon. That's why I hurried to tell you."

"…You're going to congratulate me, aren't you, Lenalee?" Maya said.

So many things ran past Lenalee's mind_. …Go out with me for real…girlfriend… happiness…_ It was all too sudden.

"Congratulations," Lenalee mumbled.

Maya took a deep breath, looking just a like a small girl finally meeting her true love. "I can't believe it. This…all this…isn't it just wonderful to be in love with the person you're engaged to? Isn't it just too romantic?"

Lenalee could only nod her head, feeling like her mind has been torn apart from her body. _She wasn't going to cry...no, not in front of Maya. She won't allow it._

Maya let out a tiny, happy squeal and hugged Lenalee again, twisting her around slightly in excitement.

"Thank you."

That caught Lenalee's attention.

"…Having a friend to be able to tell this to…I'm so, so, _so_ happy."

Lenalee wanted to cry so badly, because now, she was truly stuck. Maya was such a good friend. Even if she didn't know a thing, this was good. It should stay this way. Lenalee then patted Maya on her back. Yes, things had to stay this way.

* * *

"So now that we're, you know, _official_, we should spend more time together," Maya suggested happily, throwing yet another stack of papers on top of a pile of old books. Her face was radiant from obvious happiness, as she played around with her own hair, twisting the blond curls around her finger.

Lavi's room was a bigger mess than usual. At least, ever since Maya declared her moving in. She happily took over Lavi's bed and forced him to have to sleep on a mattress on the ground. (Well, actually, he offered, since he couldn't really bear making a girl sleep on the hard floor.) And when you put two Bookmen in a room, this was what you got. Somehow, he didn't see why she could even be one, considering how short her attention span was. Must be a photographic memory.

Lavi declined, tapping the pencil on the table. "Nah, I've got things to read." _Somebody is trying to absorb information here, hello._

Maya giggled, and ran over to throw her arms around him. "I love it when you're serious! But hey, we have to relax sometimes, right? Come on…" She did her pout again, and playfully hit the pencil out of Lavi's hand. Looks like she won't stop unless he gave in to her. _Again._

"Fine, fine. What do you want to do?" Lavi asked irritably.

The weather was like crap outside, with it raining cats and dogs. He'd love to see what brilliant idea she had for fun, in a boring, gloomy place like the Black Order Headquarters. This oughta' be good.

Maya laughed, and whispered into Lavi's ear, her arms tightening around him. "We should go exploring together."

"What? Explore _this_ place?"

"Yes, of course! I haven't been able to look around here properly since I got here! Well, unless you have some other better plan for fun when we're locked in on a rainy day…," Maya giggled again, running a single finger down his arm.

Lavi had to control himself from rolling his eyes. Sure, she was hot and all, but with her happy-go-lucky and bouncy nature, being seductive wasn't really her thing. _Seriously, how did someone like her get to become a Bookman?_ Lavi unhooked her arms from around his neck and stood up. "Okay, whatever. At least you didn't suggest running in the rain or something like that."

Maya pulled Lavi out the door. "We can start with the library! A classic Bookmen favorite!"

Instantly, Lavi knew it was bad idea. There was a reason why he was always so holed up in his room reading, instead of the more comfortable library. In fact, it was the same reason why he never wandered around the headquarters finding a place to read (or sleep) like he used to anymore.

_Poking around for his golem, Lavi opened his eyes. He needed to know the time. Finding it, it says 1:15Pm. Lunch hour. Winters always made him feel more tired._

_Sitting up and stretching, Lavi found a blanket over him. It wasn't as good as standing directly next to a heater but it'll do. And there, he spots, Lenalee sitting beside him on a chair, grinning like a kid._

"_How long have you been sitting there?" Lavi asked, rubbing his eye._

"_Oh, just long enough. This is way more fun than training, really."_

_Lavi smiles, feeling slightly embarrassed. In TV shows, the guy was supposed to be the one looking over at the pretty girl who falls asleep. Not the other way round._

"_Here," Lavi gets up to put the blanket over Lenalee instead, though she seems fine all covered up in her sweater. "I don't want you to catch a cold."_

_Lenalee accepts it, wrapping it tightly all around her. "You know, you look really funny when you sleep."_

_Lavi turns away, though the sides of his lips are upturned. "I can't help it if I fall asleep trying to memorize boring text."_

"_Ah, but I like to watch you sleep."_

"_That's just silly, Lenalee."_

_Lenalee simply giggles, "I know." And it makes Lavi want to just hug and kiss her._

Those days were over, but the same table and chair sat neatly at the corner of the library, and it feels like nobody has been in here for a quite some time. Of course, Lavi and Lenalee (mostly him though) used to dominate the place. It was a good place to escape, to talk and to spend time with each other. And it brings back so many memories.

Maya hopped over and sat on the exact same chair that Lenalee always did in the past. As if by instinct, Lavi took a seat too, back on the same old chair as well.

"This is such an awesome place to study! It's warm; it's cozy- why didn't you ever tell me, Lavi?" Maya asked eyes huge. Lavi just ignored her because there no way was he going to explain anything.

"Oh, we can go over to the other levels later. I heard there's a small green house somewhere…and the lounge too! Not to mention the Piano room as well..."

Lavi didn't want to go to any of those places, especially not the last one. All of them were places that reminded him of how lousy a Bookman and a friend he was, and he'd rather not face them.

"I'm getting out of here," Lavi said, but the moment he got up, Maya did too. And just then, Lenalee walked in with Allen, both with their hands full of books.

"Oh my god, coincidence much?" Maya exclaimed. Indeed. And that doesn't exclude _awkward, much_.

Allen politely nodded towards Maya in greeting, before dropping a stack of apparently very new books on the ground. Then, he went on to help Lenalee gets hers. "Thanks, Allen," Lenalee said.

"Nothing to it. It wasn't too heavy for you, right?"

"No, don't worry."

Lavi felt jealous, a feeling he's always had nowadays whenever Lenalee was with Allen. A feeling he, as a Bookman, wasn't supposed to even have in the first place. And best of all, Maya had to go make things worse.

"Lenalee, remember the last sleepover we had? Over at your room?" Maya piped.

Lenalee gave a faint nod, so Maya just went on, "Well, he…," she pointed to Allen, "…is the one right?"

Allen and Lenalee exchanged looks. "Huh?"

"Come off of it already, Lenalee. Remember the last time you admitted that you liked someone? It's Allen isn't it? You guys always spend so much time together and he's always so concerned about you. There's no way I'm wrong."

Lenalee felt her face go red. This was an obvious misunderstanding! But before she could say anything to clear things up, Maya pulled Lavi out of the door in sheer happiness, but not before turning around to give Lenalee her signature wink.

Once they were out of the door, Lenalee sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry, Allen. I don't know how she sees things but…"

"That's okay," Allen said, "I know you're probably not referring to me anyway." His tone seemed sad, but he didn't stand around to let Lenalee read him any further.

Lenalee watched Allen walk out of the door and the moment he left her sight, she admits she has never felt this alone before. He was supposed to be there for her, understanding, listening and comforting her. And if she didn't have him…well, she didn't know how to go on.

Lenalee sank on the ground, hugging her knees to herself. _Allen. Lavi. Maya. And everyone else._ Where does she go from here onwards?

_To be continued-_

* * *

Ah, hello! Yes, this fic is turning out to be extremely long. Somehow, I just write on& on without realizing so I admit, I do have a story length problem. As well as a paragraphing problem too. Sorry, sorry! :/

Anyway, I do appreciate reviews, thoughts and suggestions on how to improve my story. (Good reviews do make me very happy aye hehe.) The next chapter will be epic (at least, I think. Hope my writing skills can be on par with my imagination)! And if anyone wants to know where my inspiration came from, it's pretty much from Boys Over Flowers. Not all parts, just certain ones. Plus some other stuff from my head of course. But to write it in a DGM way killed a bunch of my brain cells LOL.

I know there's very little Allen in this chapter, but I swear he'll come in more later on. I'm so mean, making Allen suffer like this *sniffs*. But i hope there was enough LavixLenalee to satisfy.

…Well, till next time!


	5. Chapter 5

So, honestly, I've been getting reviews that I'm depressing everybody. Well, yes, I agree that it's depressing (LOL even me).Everybody suffers, there's a mega four-sided love triangle thingy, and it's sad, but that's the drama. I'm sorry if I can't make it too happy just yet, but the thing for sure is that there WILL be a happy ending. And if you've missed me saying it, it is eventual Lavi & Lenalee. ;)

Rolling on…Chapter 5!

* * *

Helping Maya with the wedding was truly tiring. Right now, Lenalee's muscles ached terribly and her throat was dry from all the running about. The cafeteria looked completely different from usual. There were menu cards placed on every seat, decorations adorning every possible spot and even a small stage set up at the front. Maybe she's finally found something that's actually tougher than training to fight against Akumas.

"This is finally _actually_ looking decent," Maya said cheerfully.

"I know," Lenalee breathed a sigh of relief, "It's pretty much all done up now. And you've got five days left to go."

Five days. It seems so short, now that you think about it. In fact, the whole Order is getting really fired up, knowing there'll be a wedding going on. Just yesterday, Lenalee even heard that the guys from the Chemistry department swarming around Johnny to get their suits tailor made, which almost made the poor guy crack under all that pressure.

"…fitting's tomorrow, okay?"

Lenalee fixed her gaze on Maya. She seemed to have missed something Maya said, considering how Maya was looking at her right now.

"I said, the dress fitting is tomorrow, for all bridesmaids and grooms. Can you help me tell Miranda, Allen and Krory?"

Lenalee nodded, "Yeah, of course."

"Really, you should stop being so spacey," Maya laughed. "Ooh. By the way, nice necklace you've got there."

* * *

Lenalee sat at the edge of the pool. Night had already fallen and really, she should be doing something decent inside the Order, like reading a good book or watching some TV program. But maybe, it felt too cooped up to be inside and she just needed the time alone.

Allen had gone missing on her all day. Not that she blamed him at all. He must've been sick to have to be constantly around her, watching her mood swing and always having to take care of her. Truthfully, she was already very thankful that he helped her thus far but she have to admit, it doesn't feel right without him.

The heart shaped pendant stayed in Lenalee's palm as she kicked the water just to watch it ripple. _Her very last gift from Lavi._ As she fingered it, she couldn't help sighing. This must be what they meant by being in between a rock and a hard place.

And then, the necklace slipped from between her fingers. Lenalee watched silently, as it fell right into the deep, dark pool.

She got up, first on her knees, then on her feet. Her surroundings were misty, and she felt lost, even desperate, with nothing but the dim light from a nearby lamp lighting her path. Nobody was around, and that meant nobody could help her.

No, she had to look for it. Failing to find it wasn't an option.

So Lenalee lowered herself into the freezing water, getting herself all soaked. But she didn't care, because she was going find it, no matter how long it took or how cold she felt.

She lost track of the time. She only remembered diving down into the water, reaching her hand out to grab at the ground, hoping by mere chance, she'll get her necklace back. She had been careless, but everything will be okay, once she retrieves it.

Lenalee reaches her fingers out once again. And this time, she got lucky. Feeling the necklace, its chain, pendant and all, she grabbed it, delighted. Finally! She had been so numb from the cold that she couldn't even feel her fingers or toes. Her surroundings then became darker and darker, and suddenly, her world blacked out, last remembering a pair of arms pulling her upwards.

_Damn, what is wrong with this girl? Will it kill her to keep herself safe for at least like ten minutes?_ Lavi pulls Lenalee up from the pool, his mind and heart racing. Lenalee's face was pale, possibly for being in the cold water for too long, and they were both dripping wet.

"Oi, Lenalee! Lenalee, are you okay? Wake up!" Lavi slaps at Lenalee's face lightly, before watching Lenalee react by coughing and spluttering water. "Are…are you okay? Can you hear me, Lenalee?"

Lenalee continued coughing repeatedly, feeling absolutely sick to core. But her eyes refocused and realized it was Lavi right before her, shirtless and dripping with water, and he was the one who had saved her.

"Lavi…," Lenalee murmured, as Lavi swept her up and carried her towards the main building of the Order.

"I'd be very happy if you could take a dip in the pool during the day the next time," Lavi spat, "Don't you even know how dangerous it is? You could have drowned!"

Lenalee lowered her eyes. She was always like this, causing trouble for others, always having to be rescued. And how many times was she rescued by Lavi, she'd lost count.

"…So stop it. Think about what'll happen to the rest of us if Komui even knew and…,"

Lavi didn't get to finish his sentence before spotting Allen and Maya running up to them.

"What happened? Lenalee, are you okay?" Maya asked.

Lenalee wondered what to say, but Lavi butted right in. "She's fine now."

"Oh, thank god." Maya heaved a sigh a relief.

Allen shifted his eyes from Maya to Lavi. "I'll take care of her from here on," he said, reaching out to take Lenalee from Lavi's arms. Maya agreed, "Yes, you should take her up and rest. She's soaking wet, the both of you!"

Lavi didn't have a choice, and almost reluctantly, he lets Allen take over. So long Lenalee was fine and not busy trying to get herself killed, he was fine with anything else. Lenalee wrapped her arms around Allen's neck, but her eyes looked up at Lavi, apologetic.

Maya looked at Lavi, then at Lenalee. Allen already had his back towards the both of them, as he carried Lenalee up the stairs and towards the dorms. Shifting her eyes back to Lavi, she asked softly, "Hey. You okay?"

"Yeah, I am," Lavi mumbled, before brushing past Maya and she could only look at him go. What was wrong with everybody? Maybe they all thought she didn't notice, but in truth, she knew right from the start that something was up. This wasn't how comrades of many years of being together should act. She might not be sure what it is exactly, but there was something all right.

At the corner of her eye, Maya suddenly caught sight of something and bent down to take a better look. Whatever it was, it was oddly familiar. Picking it up, she realized it was Lenalee's necklace. Her name lay engraved right in the middle, just like she remembered.

And there was a very small 'L' right at the bottom.

Maya clutched the necklace in her hand, her face emotionless. She could recall every expression of Lenalee's back in China, goddamn it. So there was a reason why she appeared there in the first place. And the way Lavi had looked so shocked seeing her when they first got to the Order. Not to mention how he took note of every single word she said and pretended to be nonchalant about it. It took her this long to realize, damn hell.

And there she stood, for god knows how long.

* * *

After Lenalee was done changing into some fresh clothes, Allen insisted on helping her dry her hair with a towel, even though she could do it perfectly well herself. He was quiet, not speaking at all, instead choosing to stare at her with his gentle eyes. Lenalee had no idea where to start, or what to say even.

"Are you hurt anywhere?" Allen said softly, still running the towel across her head, "…I was worried."

Lenalee felt the tears pricking her eyes. Again, Allen had been next to her when she needed him. He was always watching over her, protecting her. He might not have been the one to jump into the water to save her, but she knew he would've done the same if he got there first. She'd been so silly, diving in for a necklace like that.

"How…did you know I was there?" Lenalee asked, hoping that he wouldn't notice her eyes going red.

"I guess…I just knew it," Allen replied, as he puts down the towel, "…I just knew that you were in danger."

Lenalee turned to look at him, unable to comprehend everything. How? Why? What was he doing all this for? She had owed him so much already, that she might not be able to ever pay him back for his kindness and concern. Yet, here he was, giving her more when he knew all that.

Allen just smiled at her, like how he usually does, making her want to cry badly. Even though her head was still damp, and her eyes were probably already swollen from trying to keep the tears back, he hugged her ever so tightly.

"How can someone do this? How can _you_ do this, Allen?" Lenalee said, her voice wavering terribly, "…I've already received so much from you."

"…But you've given me more," Allen whispered into her ear. Lenalee closed her eyes, her tears flowing down like an endless river. She couldn't think of a single thing that she'd given him, except pain, trouble and hurt. Yet, his selflessness stunned her.

She let him hold him for some time, feeling his warmth seeping through her and slowly, he pulled away to look at her, pushing her fringe aside. Like usual, his eyes were warm and full of understanding, something not everyone possessed. Turning the ring that had always been around his finger, he pulled it out and placed it in her palm.

"This…was something Mana gave me before he left." But Lenalee knew it wasn't as simple as it sounded. Allen had always been missing Mana, who'd been like the father he never had. This was something very precious.

"Allen…," Lenalee looked at the ring, which gleamed back slightly at her.

"…I don't know when I started to feel like this," Allen said, still keeping his gaze on her, "But…I can't live without you anymore."

Lenalee fixed her eyes on him, her eyebrows knotted in confusion. She wasn't _that_ dense, and yes, she felt something different coming from him lately. But this was too much for her to handle. With a heavy breath, Lenalee, as much as she wished she didn't have to do this, pushed the ring back into Allen's palm.

"I can't accept this," she said softly.

This time, it was Allen which looked confused. But it wasn't him, it was her. It had always been her.

"I thought I could forget him. In fact, I thought I'd forgotten it all. But…," Lenalee looked away, finding it hard to look at Allen all of a sudden, "…but the moment I dropped the necklace he gave me down the pool, I could think of nothing but needing it back. It was the one thing I couldn't throw away."

"I can't let it go…," Lenalee said, wiping at the tears with the back of her hand, "…I can't separate Lavi from me." Somehow, her chest felt so tight, as if she might go out of air soon. If the one she loved wasn't him, but Allen instead, things would be drastically different. Yet…

"I'm sorry," Lenalee apologized, "I'm sorry, Allen."

"It's okay," Allen said, sighing deeply. He understood, of course, as he took Lenalee in his arms again. At least, he tried and that was better than to not have tried at all. He knew loving a person meant doing what's best for them, and since he loved Lenalee, it was obvious he would do what was best for her.

* * *

As usual, Lenalee and Allen sat at their usual table for breakfast. Today, Jerry was going western, so they got to enjoy good Ham and scrambled eggs with milk. Lenalee was still feeling pretty embarrassed from yesterday, but she was fine overall. Out of exhaustion, she had fell asleep right after Allen left and even though she still felt bad, it was better not to mention anything.

Surprisingly, Allen appeared at her door in the morning, asking her to hurry up for breakfast. And she'd thought he would go missing on her too, but it looks like everything was back to normal.

"Hey guys, morning! Can I join you?"

Maya had plopped herself down on the seat next to Allen, but it wasn't like they could refuse. Weirdly though, she usually dined with Lavi. However, there was no sign of Lavi that morning.

"Mmm, sure," Lenalee smiled in her direction. Eager to start a conversation, she asked, "Did you sleep well last night, Maya? Sorry if I…uh…caused some disturbance." She could still remember everything from yesterday, but she didn't want any misunderstanding from Maya.

"No," Maya said, taking a gulp of her milk, "I didn't sleep a wink at all. After all, yesterday was a _huge_ milestone for me and Lavi. That boy can be so shy sometimes! Anyway, he overslept so he's giving breakfast a miss this morning."

Maya watched as Lenalee's face went blank instantly, and she dropped her fork on the ground. Even Allen's eyes widened, though he didn't say anything.

What, was Maya implying that she and Lavi had…done it? Of course, Maya was a more open girl and she could talk about matters like these easily, but it was the fact that she and Lavi _did it_ that stunned her. She didn't know why, but she felt so…crushed. And now, her dropping her fork was such an obvious sign that she was bothered. What was she thinking?

Allen gazed at Lenalee, his eyes encouraging, before lending his fork to her.

Maya continued eating, quietly observing. It was just getting more and more obvious now. Lavi did indeed have something to do with her, and Allen knows all of it. This was good enough as proof. How dumb did they think she was?

"Anyway, you two look so good together, really," Maya said with her eyes piercing straight into Lenalee. Lenalee's face was still expressionless, just like she thought. Mustering a smile, all Maya did next was to stand up and strut out of the door.

And the moment she was out, Lenalee buried her face in her hands.

* * *

There were only three days left. And it was another night already. Truthfully, Lavi just wanted it to be over and done with, so he could stop torturing himself with all these feelings he was having. Study, record and observe: Things that he should be doing without letting his stupid emotions get in the way, therefore he didn't have to know what heartache felt like. What the hell, he was a failure as a Bookman.

As he stood alone at his room balcony, with the wind ruffling his hair and a book in his hand, he just couldn't stop thinking. Especially back to yesterday's events. The way Lenalee had looked at him. The way Allen protected her. And the way he had freaking blown his cover by saying all the things he did to Lenalee.

Lavi then heard a click from the door, followed by a whiff of strong soap smell. A pair of arms wrapped around his waist, and he felt Maya press her face against his back quietly. She wasn't even completely dry yet, and the moisture from her hair and arms dampened his shirt slightly.

"What do you want?" Lavi asked coldly.

Maya stayed silent, keeping her fingers locked around his waist.

"Let go," Lavi demanded, attempting to pry her hands apart so he could leave, but all Maya did was to push herself closer to him. "No, I don't want to. I'm not letting go."

"Oi, monkey," Lavi ignored her, pulling her hands away with force, "That's enough fun already."

Maya looked at him, her eyes hard, but her voice shaking. "You can call me that as many times as you want. But…," she pulled forward, her arms around Lavi again, hugging him tightly. "…but you asked me to be your girlfriend. And I've came to a point where I can't be without you. I can't be without you, Lavi."

All Lavi could do was to sigh, his head heavy. And once again, he pulled away.

"Maya…I know what I said, so listen to what I'm saying now. The guy that's right for you is out there, somewhere. It just isn't me."

"I don't care. If the guy isn't you, Lavi, then he won't do."

Lavi looked away, "I'm sorry."

Maya almost wanted to cry, but she asked, "Is there…someone you like?"

Lavi's green eyes refocused on her, but he couldn't lie. "Yes. There is."

Maya didn't ask who, instead walking away from him, pulling her wet hair into a bun. But then Lavi asked, "Aren't you going to ask me who it is?"

Maya had her back turned to him, and she didn't respond for awhile. "I…," she said, "I don't want to hear it."

Lavi was about to even tell her on his own accord, or perhaps sheer impulse, before his golem started ringing, disrupting the still silence between them. "Lavi, it's me, Allen. Can I talk to you? I'm over at the library now."

Lavi took a look at Maya, who had turned to stare at him with her deep, blue eyes. "You should go, Lavi. Your friend's waiting." Well, it wasn't as if he won't go even if he didn't get Maya's approval. Grabbing his jacket, he was about to leave when Maya's spoke up.

"You know, Lavi, as a Bookman, it's almost laughable the way you're so attached to your friends. What's worse is that everyone has already moved on, but clearly, you haven't."

Lavi heard all of it, and he didn't care much about what she said, even if deep down, he knew they were probably true. He just tossed her another cold look, and went off.

* * *

Allen sat there, tapping his fingers on the cool table in the library. He wonders where he should begin and what he should say to Lavi when he got here, but Lavi was quick. Before he knew it, he was already facing his long time friend, one whom he wasn't exactly on great terms with recently.

Lavi stood in front of him, refusing the offer to be seated, "What did you want me here for?"

Allen wondered how they ended up like this. They'd been the best of friends, at least, since his arrival at the order. Countless of times, they'd helped each other and saved each other's ass during a battle. He used to be cheerful and funny, and even if it were all an act, it beats what he became now.

"I want to know why you decided to give up on her," Allen gripped at the edge of the table, "Surely…surely you don't expect to end all this with just a necklace and a goodbye, do you?"

Lavi stood there, astonished for a moment, and then he lowers his eyes.

"Yes, I meant to. What I have with Lenalee is over," Lavi had said all this callously, shoving his hands into the deeps of his pockets. Allen could hardly believe his ears. He might be good at acting but he wasn't that wonderful an actor. Didn't he have any feelings at all for a girl as great as Lenalee? He won't have it.

Allen grabbed Lavi by the collar of his shirt, and glared into his eyes. "Why wouldn't you fight for her?"

"What about you?" Lavi asked, meeting Allen's eyes, "You love her too, don't you? In another two days, I'd be gone forever, but you won't. You can get to stay by her for life, while I won't even ever get to see her again." Allen felt Lavi's body go limp, as if he had run out of energy, and so out of exasperation, he tossed him aside on a chair.

"This isn't you," Allen's voice went smaller, unable to understand what was going through Lavi's mind right now. "What happened, Lavi? I thought you were the kind of guy who would fight for something you want. Lenalee will never love me the way she loved you. But you…you can make things right again."

Lavi gave a laugh, but his face was screwed up in pain. "I wish, but you thought wrong. I don't even know how to face any of you. And sometimes I would think...you guys would be much better off if we'd never met. But…you were my best friend, Allen. Where would I be without you?"

"What? Could it be that you're asking me to help you run away on your big day?"

Lavi turned stood up and looked at Allen seriously, "Hit me just once."

"What?" _He's insane! Lavi had just completely lost his mind!_

"This isn't a joke. I feel like you should hit me and I'm not kidding," Lavi said, his face as still as stone. Allen sighed, looking as if he were about to turn away before actually facing Lavi and punching him in the stomach.

"Ah, I deserved that…," Lavi groaned as he clutched his stomach. Managing a small smile at Allen, he added, "I was thinking before…if I couldn't have her, then nobody else should except you, Allen. After all…you deserve it way more than I do."

"…yet," Lavi continued, "I couldn't let Lenalee go. I don't even know what I can do to fix all this either."

Lavi lay on the ground, the pain from the hit easing away bit by bit. For the millionth time, he was stumped and as a Bookman, he was sure he wasn't doing very well at all. But weirdly, Allen sat down next to him on the ground, and actually gave him an encouraging smile.

"It's good to have you back, Lavi. I was wondering when you'll ever admit it."

Lavi laughed, for the first time in a quite a long time. It was great to be friends with Allen again. At least, once he's gone again, he'll leave knowing that he and Allen made up.

"You know, no matter what you choose to do, you'll still be my best friend, Lavi." Allen had said it easily, and Lavi could tell he definitely meant it. Lavi struggled to sit up.

"Sure. Where else can I get a better friend to give me a punch when I need one?" Lavi meant that too.

* * *

Two more days till the big day. She wondered what she doing, taking this so personally, but Lenalee couldn't help herself. She knew how she felt for Lavi, but he would be gone in another two days, happily married and never coming back. These might be the last few times she got to see him, and then, she would have to be forced to forget about…everything.

Lenalee's small hand clenched tightly around the door knob of Lavi's room, turned it, and opened the door. Expectedly, everyone should be at the cafeteria, but here she was. Even if she couldn't speak to him and couldn't see him straight in the face, such distance was good enough.

With 2 bookmen in a room, things were truly chaotic, but she could clearly see what belonged to Lavi and what Maya's were. How long was it since she came here? Really, it was practically two weeks back. She had taken such good care of the room, but now, it looked like it'd be struck by a tornado.

"Lenalee?" a voice piped out from behind, making Lenalee jump a little.

Maya stood tall behind her with a broad smile but fear ran across Lenalee's body. _Crap, she'll know. She'll wonder what I am doing here instead of downstairs._

Yet, Maya didn't probe. She just looked sweet and calm, like per normal, that Lenalee felt so guilty.

"Lenalee, that dress looks great on you! Even though you're really going to miss dinner if you continue standing here, you know," Maya added.

Lenalee took a step back in shock, her eyes huge. She wasn't supposed to find out anything. Lavi had tried so hard to keep his cover that she mustn't blow it! She couldn't afford to screw anything up for him!

"I…Maya, I…," the feeling of keeping something so huge was overbearing. Lenalee felt her chest tighten up, but…what could she say?

"I get it; it's probably too hard to tell me, isn't it?" Maya said with her head bent low. "I know your situation, so I suppose I can understand what you did when you did it. In fact…I know how much you and Lavi like each other." Maya pushed something into her hand. When Lenalee saw what it was, it hit her like a ton of bricks. _The necklace from Lavi! So she hadn't misplaced it, but somehow, it landed in Maya's hands. That was how she found out..._

Lenalee's eyes softened. She didn't want this. She was going to let Maya have Lavi and she was prepared to not fight for anything at all. All she wanted to do was to feel his presence for maybe just a little while more before. But right now, seeing how sad Maya was really made her feel horrible.

"…I'm sorry I pretended not to know. I guess I should've told you but well…I guess I was a little disloyal and cowardly back there," Maya struggled to say.

"No, Maya…," Lenalee said meekly, even though she felt she really wasn't in any position to say anything, "I should've just told you honestly but I didn't. And I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, Lenalee. Before I was Lavi's fiancée, wasn't I your friend first? I know that it wasn't because you didn't want to…you just couldn't, am I right?" Even when Maya tried to remain composed, Lenalee could feel how much she was dying inside. It must be painful knowing how attached a good friend still is to her fiancé. What's worse is that _she_ was the good friend.

Lenalee didn't add anything, so Maya went on, "Besides, even if you'd told me, I'm sure nothing would've changed. I even promised myself that I would never give up on Lavi, and I would try even harder than before so at least I won't have any regrets at the end of the day. Yet, even for you…I wasn't able to let go of Lavi…"

Lenalee could see how much Maya loved him. It was a relief to finally know that she didn't have to hide from her anymore, but when she said all those words, Lenalee couldn't help but feel a sharp pain in her chest. Maya was a good girl. She deserved to be with someone like Lavi.

Maya took her hand, actual tears escaping from her eyes. "Right now, if I had to pick two of my favorite people in the world…it would be you and Lavi. I won't know what to do without a friend like you, Lenalee. Therefore, I'm so, so sorry."

Maya hugged Lenalee weakly, still sobbing, "…because I made your heart ache, I guess I wasn't a very good friend after all. But I'll make it up to you somehow. Please…forgive me…"

Lenalee wrapped her arms around Maya's shoulders, letting the girl cry. But she'd already made up her mind. She really wasn't going to fight for anything, because once the day after tomorrow arrives, she won't have any more ties with Lavi. Everything would be over.

* * *

That same night, Maya waited patiently for Lavi to get back from wherever he was at. Somehow, since this morning, Lavi seemed to be back on good terms with Allen and she'd seen them hang out together, running lap after lap at the training ground which spanned the entire third floor. She was pretty excited though, because she wanted to show him something.

Lavi came in not too long after, smelling pretty good after a cool shower. Yet when Maya caught his eye, he didn't even bother to greet her, instead reaching out to pull a clean shirt on.

Maya stood up and pulled Lavi to sit on the bed next to her. Lavi didn't look very happy doing it, but he complied anyway.

"Here," she smiled brightly, presenting him a small box.

"What is it?" Lavi asked, yet not giving Maya a chance to say anything before opening it. What stared back at him were a pair of couple rings, obviously intended for him and Maya. They were made of pure silver, very elegant indeed.

"Though we've only got one day left, it's a late engagement gift from me to us. Of course, we'll have official rings on our wedding, but the ones my dad got for us is totally not my taste. These are better."

Maya couldn't wipe the smile off her face while Lavi took a second and better look at them. They were engraved, with his name on her ring and vice versa. It reminded him exactly of the necklace that he got for Lenalee. Meanwhile, Maya stuck out a hand and demanded that he put hers on for her.

Yet, even when she hoped so badly, Lavi won't do it. He shut the box in her face and gave it back to her, standing up to walk away.

"Wait, where are you going?" Maya asked.

"I just need to go somewhere to chill, okay?" Lavi sounded irritated.

"Where to?"

"You're my fiancée, not my wife. You don't have to bother so much about me. Just go to bed." Lavi left Maya in the room alone and took off. His previous sentence had sounded so real, maybe because he knew the time was coming. He just wasn't ready.

He thought back to how he fell for her. He'd fallen for her smile, her gentleness, her laughter and basically, everything about her thrilled him. _Lenalee_, her name, might just be the word that ran across his mind more than any other word in the dictionary.

He had been so happy when she agreed to be his girlfriend, that it was the first time he felt he had true emotions. He had been equally happy when they sneaked away from the group during break times on a mission just to kiss and have some couple time alone. He had been worried sick when she flew off to fight a Level 3 Akuma all on her own that he felt like dying, but when she came back to everyone safely though hurt and injured, he held her in his arms in relief and cried for her.

Yet, after going through thick and thin, he ended up leaving her, hoping that maybe she would get over him (and the other way round) and get with Allen. Though he was silently joyous it didn't happen, he wished that it could have so she would be truly happy. He guessed that might be what love is all about.

And that was all he wanted for her, even if it meant he might never genuinely smile ever again.

_To be continued-_

* * *

Here, I apologize from the bottom of my heart if I made anyone wait for so long, due to me being slow and not updating. I can't believe it's been a month and a half since I touched this story. Really, I beg for forgiveness. ;O

Anyway, this was chapter 5 for you. I hope it wasn't bad, since I know I rushed it a little (okay, maybe more than a little). Do review and I'll try to update as soon as I can. In midst of working on my other LavixLenalee story, so if you get a chance to read it, tell me what you think about that too.

Till next time!:DD


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